Jenn writes, “I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about 6 months. We have been very happy but recently have been working through some challenges. At times, I notice I am very hesitant and reluctant to be loved. I am unsure why I feel such resistance to dependency and trust and would love some insight on this. I worry I am hurting my partner spiritually by being emotionally unavailable at times. I want to build a future with this person but feel I need to do some work to be a better partner. Thank you so much for your wonderful knowledge and love,”
Dearest blessed one, it is good to ask questions. It is good to see yourself and hear your voice and question why the answers and feelings that lie within you are present. Remember that you are the sum total of all the wonder you have grown and been through–the good, the bad and what you might even think as the ugly. It is all part of your work, your growing, the wonder of your being. See not any one part of you as being negative but see all parts–some whole, some unbalanced, some balanced. Be not afraid to embrace that that you be. But also understand that in your partnership there are two partners.
You seem to have claimed all that that is unbalanced. It is not so. For that that was created stood within you, well, you wonder if you are not trusting for a reason that is truth or if it is an old way of an old hurt. This is what confuses you, child. So, be still in your feelings. Be in them, feel them. Look upon the one you wish to be with and question where does this come from? Be not afraid to embrace, to understand it. If something in your path was present but you learned from it, it does not have to hold you back, but has now become a tool where you can see the learning again. Is that what is happening? This is what you are asking.
Take time now to be sure of what you feel and who you be and bring into your life that that will bring you comfort. Do not judge yourself; embrace yourself in the wonder that you be. I think you will understand this. Thank you, child.