Moving on from an old relationship
Dora asks, “How do I find ways to get my ex back?”
Dearest Dora, I don’t know if you understand about the state of growth that you are in. You are right now trying to hold on to something that was, instead of embracing a change and moving forward. That is called a state of “no growth” and that is not a healthy place to be.
I want you to continue to heal your being, to think about your health. I think you believe that if he was to return that you would then step forward. Well, that may all happen but at this time it is more important for you to heal you, to step forward, to grow. Worry not about his choices but about your choices at this time. Do things that lighten your path, that make you feel well and happy; things that help you to take steps forward my dearest one. You know that you want what was instead of understanding that what is happening right now is healthy, is good. Make choices for you. Move forward my dear.
Yes, it’s hard to do that sometimes, to make a change in the way that you look at your life.
Yes, placing yourself on the most important list. Ask yourself, “What do I want to do? What do I need out of this life’s path.”
I laughed when I saw your question because it was so direct and to the point. You did not beat around any bush. LOL
I have several questions. Please bear with me. You all have helped me a great deal and I look forward to your next cd.
Around the 7th grade I made a major change for the better in my behavior. I also withdrew socially in an effort to avoid the physical and emotional pain. The change was good but the “social relating” change was severely inhibited. Why couldn’t I make the needed “social relating” change that would permit me to be comfortable interacting with my peers and establish friendships like I made the other behavioral change?
I have struggled with much heartbreak to make the social relating change for the last 20 years. I had peer relating troubles in elementary school and got into fights. I got into fights in middle school, and I basically became a mute in high school just to stay out of trouble. I felt I was damned if I did speak and damned if I did not speak even though I was only trying to stay out of trouble and not repeat my past. I continued to have difficulties throughout my life with one response being attempted suicide. I did not want to die; I only wanted the pain to stop and I did not know another way to stop it. Why the blockages despite all of my efforts? How do I remove the blockages? I have tried so hard to do so.
I quit law school because of the problems I had with myself and my peers. What did I do that was wrong in relating to those peers for me to be treated the way I was treated? It appears that the comfort and assuredness that others seem to have comes hard for me.
I had a brief period back in middle school of female friendships but that ended when my heart broke over my mother. Why are my female relationships shortlived and I experience rejection? There is a relative, Shaneka, who lives in the same city as I. Did I do something wrong to her for her to treat me the way she does?
Have I kept my life/spiritual promises thus far?
Am I making the best choices in terms of my relationships with others, particularly with my boyfriend?
I constantly seek happiness but every time I find it, it seems to fade away. How can I become more enlightened?
I’m a widow. It was not a happy marriage for the last part. All of my family, parents, siblings have passed. A relationship in which I was valued, praised and treated with great understanding and love has just ended. It has ended well. Will I find another such relationship?