Pam wrote a comment on a post for a woman who was in an abusive relationship. Pam says, “I have never been in an abusive relationship, but I have been abused, both sexually and beaten physically…by a group of men who hated who/what I am. I have tried to hide much of what I am, and lived the best way I could in our society. Now that I have retired I am trying to allow more of myself to emerge, but I keep running into my own physical/psychological blocks. I hope there are spirit guides that can send me words even half as lovely as what they sent you.”

This is the guide’s response:

You are a most enchanted being. You now have time to be that that you are, you see. And yet, at the same time, you are afraid to be all of what you are. Of course, now is the time you are going to see and feel many of the things that have occurred to you. It is a time of maturation of the soul, or bringing together all that was and integrating it into your being. And parts of you, you do not want to integrate into who you are. And so, you struggle, and you waste your energy holding it away from you. Dear heart, it is time to talk about that that occurred, time to talk to one who will not judge you. One who will not put you into some category, or label you in some way. It is time to honour and love your being for its survival ability, for its great strength.

You have not even yet begun to do many of the things you have come to do. You have been filling the needs of other beings for such a long time. You are probably feeling quite adrift in what it even is that makes you feel happy, my blessed one. And so, to the task at hand, to heal your being, to see it all in all of its amazingness.

Know that every being has a part of them at one point that they thought was quite unattractive or unlovable. But in time, they understood that that was what made them even more lovable. The strongest and greatest of beings are also the weakest and the most gentle.

Know this about yourself, my blessed one. You have been walking in shoes that were not yours– and now you do not know what shoes to wear. But do not be afraid to see all of the different styles that you might be. Love yourself my child, for you are very lovable. And welcome into your life those that wish to be with you. You’ve held many at a distance.

You are a blessed being. And in time, when you are ready, you are going to see clearly how brilliantly beautiful you are.

Thank you. I will pass these words on to Pam.

There is a process in your physical world that your psychiatry and your psychology has almost got to the understanding of. That is why I spoke to you about all of this big shift, this upheaval, the overturn and it’s going to mess everything up for a while. But it is important, it is like a renaissance, a resurrection. You don’t need to march around holding crosses and all of that. It is just about deep thinking, taking time to think, to see yourself in this whole picture. There’s an understanding, a knowing of what has occurred to you, that often needs to be verbalized before it is totally understood. So that you can all stand outside of yourself and see it all. Yes, it may have been horrific and horrible but you grew and that is the most amazing thing. Perhaps in the growing you will attain some parts that were not so perfect. But in the seeing of it, you may say I won’t take that on, I don’t need to carry that any more. You see, much of your understanding of the healing of traumas is just beginning to be understood completely. Yes, you must go to the trauma. but you must not stay there. You have to move forward–by seeing how wonderful you are.

So if there is something like that, we relive it in our mind?

You mustn’t go over and over it. You must take it to a time, to a place–whether it be speaking it with someone or to your own image in a mirror. Say it out loud: this happened to me, this is what I saw. See it in your own mind, visit it and then you can make a choice. When you truly see it all…. I admit some beings must see it many, many times. But some are receiving some place of identification by staying in that place of pain. Do you understand what I am saying to you? And then that pain becomes them, instead of who they are. The traumatic or terrifying thing becomes who they are. And that is not forward moving.

Do you have to go into the body’s feeling of it to release it?

Sometimes, but not for all beings. It is individual. But you must visit it, you must see who you are completely. You cannot fantasize that everything is perfect if it isn’t. If underneath there is a great wound that is festering and not healing and not being looked at. If you can see the wound and say: yes, there is a big ugly wound there but I am fine with it now–then you are moving ahead. It does not mean you accept what happened, it means you accept how great you are.

Thank you. That is very helpful–to many people I think.

These ideas about going into the pain and experiencing it and working through it often come up when the guides talk about healing. There seems to be a need to integrate it into your spirit before you can step forward on your path. Often finding someone non-judgmental who will allow you to talk about it can help this process.