Moving beyond game playing in a relationship
Hailstorm writes, “I wanted to know if you see the potential of a relationship growing between me and a guy named P. What is *up* with this guy? Is he a nice guy or a shady character? Why is he the way he is?”
This little one wants to know if it is safe. I do not want to use that name (Hailstorm), blessed being. This gentle being walks around in a façade that does not fit. So, I say to this one: Soften your edges. Don’t be afraid to trust. Both are playing games. You are tired of this and want to truly know this being. In this game, this P. too fears showing his true self. You can be the first one to trust. You put down your armour and see what happens. Will you be attacked? For this is what you fear and that is why you play the game. And, if you are, then you will know this is not a being you will put trust in again. But you cannot tell when both are so laden down with armour and there is no trust between the two of you. Fear is what arms the two of you. It is up to you my dearest, my gentle one.
I am very empathic and pick up not only emotions but physical pain as well, so I really prefer to be alone most of the time. Over the last few years I have been feeling so frustrated or detached from most people, I get so tired of their seemingly unwarrented anger and lack of common sense and courtesy to others, people and animals. I find it hard to want to be around people, I do feel much better now that I don’t have alot of contact with people and I prefer animals for their honesty and wisdom. Is this just a phase or learning process, will I ever feel comfortable around people again? I feel like I should be helping them in some way, but I feel so much better when I am not around lots of people. Am I destined to be a hermit? I honestly don’t feel like I have anything in common with most people anymore. My poor husband is such a social person, and I would much rather be alone than around people! I hope that you can help me understand this more!
First off I want to thank the guides. It has been an immense help for me during this stage. Also all friends that have showed so much support.
I do still have some questions and I am just going to type out what is on my mind hoping it may help me clarify some of the thoughts and emotions.
I know that she is not at the same place I am yet and as hard as it sometimes is, I think she is worth waiting for. I feel a very strong bond between us, not sure if the word soul mate applies or even exists but the bond, at least for me is very deep.
I know she needs to develop or learn or experience something during this time and I am making a conscious effort to let go of her to be able to do so. It is hard and the direction she has chosen to explore is extremely painful for me to watch. I still am trying to be supportive, sometimes it feels as if she is slipping away completely though.
For a long time I thought that love or a relationship was something that I was not capable of and I am learning or starting to learn that this is not so. At least I think I am.
You said that these are not dying embers… I am holding on to the hope that we at some point can work through this and by learning and developing on our own, we can grow back together again.
I also see the point of me needing to learn worth and loving myself. And yes there are a lot of shields and I am again very consciously trying to dismantle those. Although it is at the moment very difficult to do so because of the situation and my reaction to the feelings involved.
I am not sure how to at the moment but I think I should be channeling these feelings into something creative or constructive but can barely take my mind off of the current situation.
I have asked her to ask the guides too… I think she is lost at the moment and hope the guides can maybe give her a pointer and not as a thought to point in my direction but in hope for some guidance for her to find what she is looking for. I admit this might not be completely selfless.
I don’t really know if there was a question in there but I hope the guides can maybe point out where I should be headed to. I get the feeling that my life is falling apart and it seems over the past years my life has been going in 5 to 6 year cycles after which everything is torn down and I start building up my life from scratch again. In the last while I get the feeling that something like that is lurking just around the corner.