How to cope with a toxic workplace

P1020884Peace Seeker writes:    

I live my life in a constant state of fear especially at work. It’s next to impossible for me to stand up for myself which leaves me open to being treated with disrespect by those who perceive me as weak. Everyday I go to work feeling hated and ostracized (not just a feeling, it’s reality). I envision myself running for cover with my arms up over my head for protection. As a result, I am filled with rage and self hatred because I too see myself as weak!

Can you give me a clear, straight forward explanation as to why things are this way and if the therapist I’ve been seeing for more years than I care to divulge, is able to help me with this issue. Or, can you please give me some advise on what I need to do to change my situation before I end up doing something as drastic as quitting my job. Thank you, I appreciate your assistance very much.

The guide’s response:

Oh my dear, dear one, you are very, very nervous and anxious over this situation. I want you to know that there is a great deal about you that you are not presenting.  You are very just, fair. You see both sides of everything. You give people lots of room that they could explain what they need to and be where they need to be. You are very, very wise. You are a wonderful support for many people in your life.

It is just this one situation where you have found yourself in and you do not understand why.  And others have assumed things about you that aren’t entirely true.  To take a deep breath, to stand really tall and to have no explanation is the first beginning. You don’t need to justify who you are and where you be at this place of work.

And the place of work has become a great barrier to you. You think that it serves you well because it provides what you think you need.  In fact, this great place of work, yes, it has good things in time and that is what has caused you to be a prisoner in this effect.

You could choose to move, you could be in a different position, but you are also very stubborn in many ways and want to will out this and have it turn to help you. Then you must do as I say.  You must, before you begin each day, take deep, deep breaths, stand tall and straighten your body and with every cell in it you must tell it that it is perfect in every way, which it is.  It has all the ability to do this. And when you enter into your place of work and you see those different faces, look them eye to eye, smile the biggest smile you have and say hello, good morning. If they don’t respond it doesn’t matter; you have done what you needed to do and do so.  Go to your place where you be and work and do what you need to do.

If they have issues and anger allow it to fall right on the floor in front of you, but not on you. You have complete assuredness  that you are light and love and perfect in all ways and you needn’t absorb their negativity.  This might sound like an impossible task but it is not, my dear. Practice it!  Do it with just people on your street if you wish to. Begin each day with your little saying of yourself, look upon your looking glass and see yourself and say “hello, we are good, we are healthy, we are happy” and carry on. And take this with you when you go out. And when you come home at night and if that wasn’t quite the expected response I needed, but it is not mine and I am not going to take it home with me and leave it at the door as you go in.  Once again begin your day by being who you are, your truth of who you are.

There are many, many, many of you that all have places in work that have many difficulties and tension and tightness and people come with all of their anger and issues and spew it in all directions.  But you don’t have to accept it; you have a choice.  Remember that, my dear. And you are greatly loved.

Yes, it would probably be a good idea to change therapists and go to a new one.  But before doing so, she can explain to the therapist this is not helping, she is not getting what she needs from it.  Perhaps that therapist will come up with some tools to help.  Or, perhaps what truly has happened is the therapist is now depending upon the woman for support, this can happen.

Click here to see the guide answering Peace Seeker’s question. 

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  1. glasshalffull August 10, 2013 at 6:21 pm - Reply


    I have a question about a murder trial going on right now. I want to know if the people on trial are guilty, and if they will be convicted and sentenced. The victim, a young woman… my heart bleeds when I think that she is dead and her murderers have not only been released but are being defended by people that claim to be “for the good”. Which brings up another question…why are these people defending her murderers? Is it money, or do they identify with them in some way? And what does most onlookers think, do they believe these people are guilty? I ask because I cannot bear to see this injustice and know that so many people defend the victim’s killers. I try to keep the “glass half full”, but this sort of thing really brings me down.

    Thank you

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