This question is from Pam.  She had a disagreement with her partner and she said something hurtful. Then two days later Pam heard a voice screaming in her head admonishing her never to use her words to hurt.  She says she wonders if it could have been the voice of a spirit guide even though she believes they are  benign and caring. She says, “Perhaps the bad parts of me have guides that punish to help me grow.” Can you comment?

It always has been something I’ve never understood, how in the physical world they seem to think that punishment creates growth.  It is always the opposite—it creates a state of no growth.  Violence, punishment—it stops everything.

No my dearest one you did not hear a guide; you heard your own self—talking to yourself.  You have an inner voice that is so harsh and angry with yourself.  Your guides love your dearly and they are speaking to you that you are totally frustrated and feel absolutely helpless.  And always when your words are so angry it is because you are feeling unloved.  You need to turn it around inside out and practice loving yourself.  It is almost like needing to erase those old words that you heard when you were growing up.  Know that they are not part of you now but that they do come back whenever you are unsure.  It’s like thinking, “ Well that’s the old and familiar; I must fall to that. That will make me feel secure and strong.”

But it doesn’t anymore.  You are a new being—a brand new, more evolved being.  Now it is needed for you to stand in the light of love and to not fill it with anger, but with love.

You do love your partner.  You love many people.  But you do not love yourself.  Oh, I know the word love is bandied about every which way in your world.  But in truth love is a vibration, a wonderful vibration, of God, of mother, of life, of giving, of growth, of forward movement.  And it feels good in the body, because it can only feel good in the body.  And when you saturate your body  with love it feels very joyful, but when you’ve left spaces open and filled with a negative thought, it can create a bigger and bigger sore until it must be dealt with.

And so my dear, I know you don’t want to look backwards, but sometimes you need to just look at who you are and where that voice would come from.  You don’t have to go back and do that or be that again.  But understand that it’s a part of you, a part that needs healed.

Healing isn’t erasing; it’s embracing.  It’s surrendering and saying, “I am ok even though I have that part of me.  I am love even though I had hate in me.”  Bless you my child. You are doing very well.  You see how much better you feel already.

Thank you. Those are wonderful words.