Dearest Madeline, oh dearest one, you think far too much and dissect all of your thoughts. Take a deep breath, dearest, and realize that being spiritual is an artist, is a writer. Of course, being a nun and someone who restricts their life to a certain way, you can always be spiritual in all of these things. The true bliss and wonder of a life’s path is as spiritual as it gets, my dear.
Madeleine says she feels as if she is at a crossroads with many paths open but she is unsure of which one to take. She says, “This is causing me unbearable anxiety that makes it incredibly hard to take action at all! On one hand, I want to pursue my dream of becoming an artist and a writer. But I wonder if, on the other hand, it might not be best for me to become a nun and devote myself to a life of service and enlightenment. I feel as though the latter path will take me down the path truest to Spirit, but my heart lies more with art and writing. What should I do?
Also she asks for advice on how to be less nervous in social situations. She says, “I have a lot of trouble communicating my thoughts and feelings effectively because I am afraid of rejection. I also have a lot of trouble connecting with others and establishing relationships and feel as though something is wrong or “off” about me. It’s as if I have the desire to be social, but I can’t bring myself to really throw myself into any sort of relationships. In the end, I think people find me a little boring because I just don’t seem that into socializing with them. Could you please give me some tips as to what I could do to gain the confidence to make friends?”
To see, and feel, and honour all manner of thing on your path which is what you are wanting to do, then do it dear, no matter what you say you are doing at the moment. Don’t limit yourself to one thing at a time. It is always amusing to me when someone decides to do something and then they feel very bad about themselves when they change their mind. You are a creation of the universe and changing your mind is just a reflection of the universe. Be happy, dearest. Choose to be happy. Let your bliss be that amazing ability wherever it needs to shine. And as far as meeting friends, it is because you have always limited yourself and you are outside yourself, judging how you should be.
Dissolve that away and be that brilliant light with all who come near. You will have no difficulty finding friends. For you will have found that your best friend is your own being.