Linds writes:  I am in recovery and this past year has been a struggle for me as I must come to terms with a new way of living. I am feeling so spiritually   disconnected in my life, more so now than I ever have before. I feel like I’m holding myself back but I’m not sure why I can’t just surrender. Sometimes the   emotional pain is so overwhelming that I just want to run away and start a new   life. I don’t know where such pain is coming from.  I am usually a free spirit   but I feel so trapped right now trying to do the “right” thing nd please
everyone else. I am trying to get back in school but now it’s a waiting game.   Will it happen for me and have I chosen the right direction? Also I am seeing a man and wondering if I am heading down the right path with him? I am tired of meaningless relationships and his feels very real, but I’m not sure if the age difference is a factor.  Thank you and God bless.

Dearest one, it would be very good for you to sit and contemplate free will.  It is in everyone’s domain, in your body, free will to choose, to observe, to make choices.  And in this, where it dwells not only in the physical, but in the spirit body, you chose to enter into this physical world before you were completely ready.  (I say you weren’t completely ready but you did choose that you were ready).   What this causes is a feeling of being out of step with the world, out of synch with that that you had come to learn, to process, promises set in motion.  And so because of this you took a few diversions from your path, made a few choices almost to halt the uncomfortable feelings.  Out of free will you chose this and out of free will you now understand this.  And you choose to have the life of who you be.

 You are still in a state of somewhat trying to catch up with others and be somewhere you are not.  So the best and most loving thing to do is to know this and stop trying so hard.
Laugh at the situation.  Find humor, separate yourself from all those who talk of how to and what to be.  And just breathe.  Breathe in the life of being who you are—whole, strong, able to make choices.   Making choices to give you what you need—a life that is strong and
loving.  This being in your life is helpful and wondrous.  But it is too soon to choose if it should be forever, too soon to worry about ages and dimensions.   Being out of synch
does not mean that you are not wholly and completely needed in this world.  For you see beyond the layers that others provide; it is one reason why you chose a few layers.  You see the truth in other beings, and you are not afraid to speak of it. And in time, as you grow in your own free will, you will find that you are a great teacher.   But do not worry as to how  he teacher will be or should be. Just know that you do, you are.  And know that there is greatness that lies within, to give—when the time is right.  Bless you my child.  Bless you for being willing—to learn, to grow,  to love.