Nancy – My dear guides, in the past month I have been working as a nursing aide in a home care facility I was happy that I could find a job but this job has affected my emotions and health. I have been sick again with this bad cold and it is not going away.  When I come home from work sometimes I cry because the way we have to work and take care of the older residents made me sad.  It is not the way I like to give care for someone who is unable to express how they are really feeling, you know what I mean ?

This nursing home I work is an industry work sad to say.  Now I have another job opportunity but I am still not sure if I want to take it either because it is to sell luggage and purses  in a store a full time job and course the pay is very low.   I do love to take care of older people and people who need care but now I feel so empower to do my job right and they made me work but less pay because my diplomat as not values in France in the health field . The director of the facility offered me as well a contract to work there but she is paying me very low not has a nursing aide but I am doing the nursing aide job. 

Yes course it is not about the money in the world but I do believe that my work in a nursing aide is hard work and I should deserve paid. As a choice to work in a store to sell luggage and purses or work in the nursing home ???  To be honest I would prefer not one of them and because I would like to buy with my husband a small salon the coffee shop if I should stay in France but in this time it look this is not going to happen so I am again confuse with all those decision I need to take in a mean time my health again is no good and feel not healthy at all. Can you please help me to direct me on my choices?  Thank you.

Dearest, dearest one, your beautiful mind works overtime wanting to make sure you study every part of each page of your life that you might not miss a single thing.  And you are so busy looking at all things you are forgetting a very important part of it, choices.  You could choose whatever it is you wish.  You know you have done the healing work for a long time and you can do it without even thinking about it for you are always one with one who is unwell and disturbed.  But that is not creating growth for you any longer.  No, it did not make you sick.  You made you sick for you were sad doing this. 

You know you need to find something joyful, oh, it  still can be heavy work, but joyful work, passionate.  Unfortunately, you drag with you around from place to place a belief that you must never trust in anything outside of you and that you have to do all of the work to create any happiness that could possibly come out of it.  Dearest Nancy, you can be happy.  Just be.  Work with your heart in any manner and form you wish that brings you joy.  Trust out in that realm of trust on the ladder, trust in life.  And don’t be sure that it will all collapse; be sure it will be wondrous.

He wants to try.  You are fearful. Abandon your fear and look it in the face and tell it to lighten your load.  Be, my child.  Be. 

You look so hard for signs to tell you what to do, except to your heart.  You are afraid to trust even the love for this man but you did, and it is good.  Look to your heart my dear child.  Don’t hang all of this heavy wording on it.  Let it be.