Advice for a friend and a mother about loss and grief

Krista writes:

As I told you a while ago ,my best friend was murdered and my life fell apart. Not only did my life change beyond all recognition, my friend’s mom’s life changed in such a painful way. I consider her to be a source of strength and my connection to Julie. She is a wonderful woman who has had to deal with too much pain. If it were up to me I would bear her burdens so she could get the time to grieve. I love her and her family.  Is there anything I can say or do that will help her overcome the pain of losing her daughter?

The guide’s reponse:

Blessed one, you cannot take another’s pain away from them, for it is there to grow through, to become stronger through.  I know you often see pain in your physical world as a negative.  But it truly isn’t a negative in all senses.  It is a love, a love and sadness that is intertwined in expectations of what might have yet been  but was not.  This blessed child was light and that was positive and it was growing and good and that gave to many.  And that is what you must take from it now and move forward with the goodness, not the pain of the loss–for all things end.

Change is the most amazing thing, the creator of growth in your physical world.  You may not like the change but it creates for you, growth.  You yourself are wiser, more encompassing of others’ understanding.   You have grown immensely in the last little while.  I know this has changed you, but not for the worse, my dear.   You carry with you great empathy and compassion.   You are now wanting to bear others’ burdens but you know you are only responsible for your own.  How to help the mother?  By loving her, by seeing her. By understanding that her seeing you is painful, but it is also healing.  And know that you will move forward, that there are good things yet to be.  There are good things that  her daughter has brought to you and to her.  That no one, when they leave the physical plane, leaves it completely for their actions still move through all beings they touched.  Let those actions grow and be positive.  See this as a wondrous, amazing opportunity to grow, I know you do and in time mother will too.  The sadness of that being comes from remembering a love that you can no longer hold.  But don’t stop it from growing.  Move it into a realm of greater growth for yourself. There is much love for you my child.

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  1. D January 13, 2011 at 5:00 pm - Reply

    A while back I asked about moving and the guide offered then it may not be the best time. Is it now? I am considering moving and living with relatives and wonder if this is optimal for me and my family members. I’ve had a bit of a red flag recently. Also, will this physical move and shared residence provide the comfort and security my daughter is in need of? So thankful for your guidance.

  2. Kris September 18, 2011 at 5:21 pm - Reply

    A friend of mine recently and unexpectedly passed over. Our last conversation a few weeks prior to that has left me feeling there may be something she unknowlingly needed me to know. Is there something I need to do with this?

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