A question about the potential for a deeper relationship

BJ writes:

I come to you once again for your support on a question that I have asked before. I have come to know a lovely man over the course of two years. We have exchanged emails, phone calls and we have met on two occasions all of which went well and left both of us with a feeling of ‘can’t wait to do it again’. Although we have not been together since then, there is a promise that we will see each other again. I feel that he is being very sincere with me when he tells me that he would like to see me again. I should point out that there is distance between us which makes it difficult to be spontaneous and may be seen as problematic. However I am of the belief that where there is a will there are no challenges.

I feel a huge connection with this man and he holds all the ingredients that makes the chemistry between us so very beautiful. I know that it is there for him as well. I sense that he fears commitment and involves himself in a myriad of responsibilites to other people so that he does not have the time for a serious relationship. I also feel that he would like to have a meaningful and loving relationship but has not let go of past hurts.

What we have at the moment is a friendship. Can this be more than a friendship, is there survival in this relationship? My intuitive side tells me that there is, to be patient that this will evolve if I don’t control it. Do you see this evolving? I very much would like to extend my love to this man and share with him what he has not had much of in his life.

The guide’s response:

Dearest, blessed being, you have answered your own questions.  You know you have presented yourself as one who is light and without commitment as well.  You have presented yourself falsely for you truly do want a companionship, long-term with one being. You have told yourself that this was just to meet to have companionship, for a conversation and laughter.  Now, when you think of this being, you want more than this but you only presented that.  You fear if you speak your truth to this being that as you spoke, he fears commitment.

Well, my dear, it is true.  He has committed himself many times to many others.  It does not mean you cannot have a friendship with this one.  Perhaps if you just keep saying this can only be friendship he might put his guard down.  But I fear your heart is so vulnerable and you do not want to be heard and you go willingly back again. You too play the games.  I say it quite openly.  You already know that this one has told you with his whole being that he fears commitment.  You cannot change a being.  Perhaps, perhaps if you take time for yourself, your beauty, your wonder, your social graces that are so intoxicating to many, there are many who would clamor to be with you.  Be still my child.  Look around you.  Do not try to be something you are not.  You want to have a relationship with one that only wants to be with you.  It can be.




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