Trust issues in a relationship
BJ – Dear Guides, I am of the belief that people come into our lives for a reason and I have one such soul who I believe is meant to be in my life. We are attracted to each other and there is a beautiful connection between us that is mutual. We have both experienced hardships and been hurt emotionally in past relationships and while I have been able to forgive those who have caused me emotional pain in the past, he has not and is very much jaded. My sense is that it is a fear of being hurt again that keeps him from becoming emotionally involved. While he struggles with fear of commitment, I struggle with trust as a result of having been betrayed by those who professed to love me. It would seem to me that the universe has brought us together, is the lesson then that he is to help me gain trust in relationships and am I to help him open his heart to love once again?
Can having this just as a friendship perhaps ease this fear and eventually melt those iron bars he has set up around him? I have a great love for this man; he is a gentle soul and deserves to feel love. And if it is not to be, why then am I holding on so strongly to my intuitive feeling that we are meant to be together? Can this be or is it just an illusion? Am I on a path of no growth by expending so much energy on this? Will this void end soon? Thank you for your enlightenment.
Guide – I have come to speak to this blessed being. Dearest one, how I love you. How I know you do not want to make any mistakes. And you have such a beautiful refined way and grace with all people and beings. No one thinks you have made mistakes except for you and you must let go of that. They were experiences that you have learned and grown from and what a joy that is. What a joy that is to grow, to have that opportunity to be with a being. There are no mistakes this way, my dear. Oh, perhaps you could have chosen not to have that pain and confusion for a bit, but you learned from it so it was not a waste.
And so now you wonder who is this one that you…actually, you don’t really know if you want him in your life or not, it is a pull and push. I want you in but what if you down want me then I don’t want you. What if I do want you, the back and forth, my dear. So instead of having a deadline or expectation of what it should or shouldn’t turn out like, or be, ask yourself what from this do I want? A partner, one to share some time and happiness with, do I have a line that I won’t cross in the fact that you are completely secure with. And that is alright to have that line. Just don’t make the line so heavy that you can’t enjoy some laughter and fun times. I know you live in a world where everything is either black and white and it is actually the shades in your life that make it so beautiful, the little nuances. Don’t try to figure out his needs. Try to figure out yours. If, in fact, you can be happy with this one without any deadline or expectations, then so be it. But If it makes you feel so nervous and unsure of yourself then you must address this.
I know, I haven’t given you an answer to trust or not to trust, for him to forgive or not forgive. Of course, these are your tasks and his. I think he is quite willing to forgive and forget. I think he senses in you a neediness that he is afraid of, that he may not be able to fill the bill of all things you need. He adores you and thinks you are wonderful but he might be afraid.
So, let’s just put down all of those needed list and all of those necessary expectations and just be together in light and laughter. It is quite alright for you to say no I will only do certain things because I have to have a complete element of trust. And it is okay to say that out loud as that is part of your feelings.
You are not wasting your time ever, my dear in a no growth situation, that is not possible. You should know this because you are one who does grow and move forward. The element of trust is something that grows with time and love of self. Do you love yourself enough to be willing to love again and trust? Only you can answer this, my dear.
You give such amazing advice to others. You are so much fun to be with. Give yourself some advice and some fun. Just enjoy! If you feel yourself closing in and narrowing in and if he is talking too much about something in the past, speak it out loud. You had experienced one who did not tell you all things and that is what you fear.
Talk. Talk and build trust. But it is more the energy that is given off. You are attracted to this one because you’ve had a past existence with this one. I will say no more of that but in that alone you should know there is a task or promise.
Oh, my beauty, do not fear. You are a beautiful being. Love and laugh.
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