Gina writes that she wants to change some things that have affected her way of interacting with people. She wants to release her fear and her feeling that something is wrong with her. She asks why painful things happened to her. She says she fears rejection and doesn’t freely express herself and she would like to change this so her days will be filled with friendships, self-acceptance and joy.
This dear one learned very early in life that she had difficulty attaching, difficulty being accepted. There is much that can be done about this and she will have to research, of course (and knowing this one, she has). When a being has a difficulty attaching to their parents, they then judge themselves as not good enough, not acceptable, not lovable. So, most of the time, blessed one, you are outside of yourself, judging yourself, and believing that is how others see you.
For one quiet moment, just be still, and see who they are and see their happiness and their reflection, reflecting you. Do not constantly worry about how you are good enough, but that they be good enough. And if they are good enough to love you and in time you will love you. It is all about this my dear.
She doesn’t want her life to be like this any longer. She wants her life to be filled with lightness and love with no regret.
And this is all a matter of choice, even although it may not feel like this now. Dear Gina, take time to truly see your world, not through the filter of unlove, but through the filter of love. Take time to see the beauty in faces. Be still and do not fill the air with words, with what you believe they need or want from you, but listen to them. Sometimes in your world it is said to “fake it” just to experience it. You are a very intense being. You want to do everything perfectly. Your world is full of wonder –and it may not look perfect but is in process just as it exactly needs to be.
Does this heal your sadness? Ask yourself what have you have learned from this? Ask yourself, “Did it teach me something?” Be still. Understand how you have grown and why you are now at this place of not wanting that anymore. Drink deep the knowledge of love that is around you and understand that you have already taken the step–and your choice is for happiness.
And what is happiness? It is instances of joy, it is seconds of seeing the light. It is a light switch moment. But always remember, once learned it cannot be forgotten. You will not forget the pain you’ve had. But it doesn’t mean that you must wear it as your outer clothing. It can be tucked away in a pocket of knowing. You are learning to love yourself my child, perhaps you need to also love your path, your learning, your intensity of being. Find something each day to laugh about and you will see this shift.