Gail says she would like to do something besides just working on the farm and at the postal service. She is thinking retiring and raising dogs but wonders if she can make money at that. She has also started painting. She says, “I receive no emotional support on either of these. I need direction. I feel good when I am painting but the end product does not meet my standards. Am I wrong to continue or are the dogs the answer? I think I am in a sort of a mid life crisis of a personal nature. Things I thought I wanted have faded and things I want to do have been put on the back burner. I want to be me and do not know who that is.”
Firstly, dear one, know that you’ve lived a very scheduled, routine life and I’m not surprised that you fee somewhat cast adrift. If you think about leaving one very structured thing in the postal service and the farm life too is very structured; there are certain things you must do at certain times of the day. I’m not surprised that freeing of your being is somewhat frightening.
Dear one, don’t look to other people for acceptance or non-acceptance. Look to yourself. What do you want to do? Just wander about and dream and play and try things out. There’s too much thinking you must put out to receive back—and that comes from your structure all these years. Be patient with yourself. Find fun; find joy.
You’re a brilliant being with so much to do yet. Don’t think you should step off one rung of the ladder onto the next one. Fly for a bit. Just try on different things—different shoes. Have a good rest and think about all the different things. There’s lots of time. You’ve got lots of time to do what you need to do. And don’t look to others to accept it. You’re emotionally drained and you’ve been this for a long time, my dear. That’s not something new.
Take some time to rest and find your truth. You’ll find it. Don’t think that it has to be through making money. And do understand that your great passion for animals may not always be an easy thing for you to give away or to sell for money. Allow some things for yourself that have nothing to do with receiving back, but just do it for the joy of doing it.
It’s because of this back and forth, the idea that you feel the need to do something to earn money or have a place in society that is looked up to. Forget all that. Realize that you need to look up to yourself for a while. Society, if they wish to they can get in line with you, and I’m sure that will occur.
You have great joy. People love to be with you. Remember this. Perhaps you should take time to teach people how to enjoy life.