I am in desperate need of guidance. To put in simply, I am still in love with my ex wife and am not sure what to do about my feelings. The relationship ended just over 2 years ago. No matter how much I have tried to move on, my ex has always been on my mind. My feelings for her have never gone away, I thought given time that they would. I tried to move on, and have been seeing someone. But my heart does not lie with this person so I am ending the relationship. I am not sure what to do about my feelings of deep love for my ex wife. Do I continue to try ignore how I feel and push how I feel deep down and continue to feel great sadness, sorrow and regret? Or should I do something about it? I’m worried that if I tell her how I feel that it will just cause her more hurt and sadness, and that is the last thing I want to do. I love her dearly but I also don’t want to hurt her. Please guides, I ask for concrete guidance. Thank you for your past advice and the love you have shown me with your kind honest words.
The guide’s response:
Dearest one, dearest one, you want to find love and yet when you seek it you hold it away from yourself. You create many iron bars around you. Blessed one, by not saying the words it does not prevent that one from knowing how you feel. There is knowledge and confusion and difficulty. If you were to breathe deeply and to say what you really need in your world, to be accepted, to be loved for who you be, to embrace all manner of beings and loved ones.
You keep trying to make it one way and yet you have many ways to you. You do not really feel at peace within your body for any love. Right now, memories hold that that was–for that feels safe to you. But, in truth, you don’t want to look at the memories of the sadness you felt. A conversation with that one, an open conversation (without expectations, without need to have back that that you feel, but of interest, of gentle light and love) would be very helpful for you and for that one. But you must have no expectations.
So often you set up rules around yourself that this must be met and that must be met. Be my child, be. And before you choose any other place to jump to, walk and see who you are. You are a radiant beautiful being with many things to offer others. You often look to define who you are through others instead of who you are in yourself.
Your body has created illness. You find yourself in situations where you are helpless. You seek to control others where you really want to be controlled. In other words, you fight against your own being. So, to be, to breathe, to look outside yourself to find who you are. Often times in a reflection you will see, but don’t look into other eyes to see you. Look into your world to see who you are and ask yourself if this is who you wish to be?
I know you are a radiant being who has much to give your world. I know you want companionship, one to skip down a road with. But skipping is unbalanced– if you are not who you need to be. Bless you my child. Stand in your beautiful being. Give the love you have, it is perfect. Expect not any from others at this time. Expect it from yourself. You are light. You are love. Bless you.