Understanding that you are responsible for your choices
DA writes:
Greetings. How can I best support my young relative who is now in the hospital? I love and want him to live and make better choices for himself. He recently asked me to live with him and I said no which was hard to do. The last time he stayed with me it was difficult. He is an amazing young man and has inspired me very much. I do struggle with his choices and that he is not respectful of rules.
The guide’s response:
Hello my dear. To best support this child is to love, to be, to hear him. And to speak to this one that there is a way; that within are his choices that he must be responsible for. So empower him to help him see his own power. His choices brought him to where he is at this very moment, no one else’s. It is hard when he feels he is all alone but he must see himself as a survivor, as a strong and radiant being that has come to help others. He knows this in his being. He must now find the strength in himself to make the choices. There are no band-aids. He is not a victim. He is exactly where he is because of his choices. Yes, there were conditions that happened from earlier times that made him feel that others were responsible. Now, he is responsible. Until he understands this, time and time again, he will bring himself a step backwards. It is true he is weary of that and now wants to embrace his own life, a good life filled with love, filled with beings of light.
He knows you want to help. He knows this already. He is asking this of you. This is another way that he does not have to make a choice for himself. It is his turn to grow, to be. Speak to him that this is a great, exciting and wonderful thing and that each choice can make him wiser and healthier. See him as he is new and fresh in the moment that you be with him. See not that that was, or yet to be, but see what is. For it is in that moment, that is the creative force that will create what will be. Don’t fear my child. Your love must just be love, accepting of that, that is. Do not see choices that he might make as any less. Love. Allow him his growth and his choices, but also speak openly that his choices have brought him to where he is now. And his choices will take him to where he will go. And the creative moment is in the clarity of now.
Joanna adds:
This beautiful comment was posted on November 21st by someone who has had personal experience with addiction. Thank you K8 for your inspiring words.
I would like to offer to you my own experience in recovery from addiction. First, it took every single drink I took to get me to the bottom of my journey where I could be open to new answers. The people who were trying to help me actually ended up hindering me from getting to the abyss that I needed to get to in order to look for new answers. Love him. Love, love, love him. But allow him to direct his own life. Taking responsibility for oneself is one of the keys to recovery. From whatever illness it stems. Addiction, depression, anxiety – whatever it is. I had to learn to be responsible for my recovery. And when I did, I started to get better. Be still and know that he will make his choices as he will make him. But love him. That is all that is necessary.
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