I’m an angry person. I have tried to move past the anger, and it works for a while, but then an event will trigger my anger and I lose control. When I’m angry it’s almost as if I’m floating above myself watching the anger spew forth. I don’t like myself when I lose control to my anger. Why am I so angry? Please help me understand where it comes from.
The guide’s response:
You, blessed dear one, are seeing yourself clearly and the using of anger as a method to be. The first step in changing any habit, or action, is to witness it, to own it, to see it and blessed one you are doing this. This is wondrous.
You learned from childhood that this was a way in which to be in the world, that others would recoil, that others would allow a certain being in your life to have their way, by being angry. It was a way to live, to be. It can achieve some things in the physical world. But after a while if one ability is used too often, it becomes a prison. And now, it is as if you are stuck in the anger mode and it isn’t who you are.
You feel you do not know how to not be this, but you do, blessed one. The you who sees you floating about, the you who does the thinking, the one who creates the anger words; you can stop this in an instant for you have already recognized that this is not who you are.
You are a highly intuitive, talented being with great passion and love, wearing a coat of anger that you must slowly unbutton and take off. At first, you will feel vulnerable and somewhat frightened as a child without a coat. At first, the world will seem harsh, but speak not, use not words, be still and draw in the light of the world you live in and be present in it. Radiate light, visualize it just channelling through your heart to the situation.
Before when you were wearing that coat you would react in anger and you will now react in light. Let it not have an emotion, let it just be light. It will in fact be love, but let it just be light. Let your conscious and subconscious mind that you created know it as only light and you will decide the emotion after you have stood in the light. This will take some practice, blessed one, but you can do this for you have already moved far into the healing of it.
You were not wrong. You were just using a mode and method that no longer fits you. In time, you will see how you were the one who received the anger and you will understand why you put on that coat. But for now, just practice taking it off. Bless you my child for you are love.