Pamela  writes:  

I have a 28 year old son who needs help. I have been trying to get him help for 15 years without success. I don’t know what to do or where to turn. I am very sad about how his life is going and the pain I feel is immobilizing me. I am feeling very desperate and would appreciate any insight or advice you have. Please help!  

The guide’s response:

Dear, dear mother, what an amazing gift you have given this being, your child: To mother, to bring into the world, to protect, to nurture, to love, to teach, to show the way.  And you have done an amazing job! And it has not been easy for you.

You have been trying to walk both sides of the street and protect him from all things and manner of learning, which is not possible — for this child must have his own learning.  And so, it is happening and there comes a time when a mother  cannot use words as you already have used them.  It is a time when you simply must stand and see this being.  Love him exactly for who he is and where he is.  And trust that he will know when to choose to step forward.

You fear this one does not have the ability to judge what is right or wrong; but that is not the case.  This one does. This one is often much more at ease when you are upset — so try  not have a reaction, but just be.

Your pain, of course, is your frustration at seeing one you love so much not take hold of that that is so wondrous.  This one can find help. You have tried in many ways. But this one must now choose for himself.  You have laid it out in many different ways.  Does it mean turning your back?  No.  It just means knowing that this one must make his own choices now and to not deny that some of this can be self destructive.  Say it out loud.   Speak openly of what you see, but judge it not.  Do not put forth whether it is good or bad, but just what is. That he must be who he is.  His route, his path is his. Until he owns it, he will not choose for it.

Oh, blessed one, teach this one by caring for yourself and say that out loud too.  Bless you.  You are not alone.