K writes, “This has been a difficult year and I recognize the choices I have made to contribute to the strain. I have lacked clarity and honesty with my feelings. Financial and personal freedom is a clear goal and I continue to plug away on my project as I feel it still is a great thing to pursue. I continue to be nervous of how my children’s father is behaving (not for myself but for my children’s safety) and am also wary of the intentions of the woman he has partnered up with. I don’t feel my children would be especially safe with these two. I am so very grateful for your guidance to help me through this time and how I can progress to independence and rest my very tired body and protect my children at the same time?

Dearest K, you are a very wise being.  You have great ability to help others.  You have great choices for others.  But you do not do any for yourself.  You talk about making choices and changes, but you have not done so for yourself, my dearest.  You cling to that that was and you know that was not very good for you.  So, why would you cling to it now?  You have before you complete chaos and yet you seldom to make any order of it.  You dream and want one day; make this day the beginning.  Make this day the one to step into the new life.  Act now, this moment.  You will have great joy, great ability and yet you plague yourself with that that was.  You have already chosen to move forward and yet you cannot without taking steps to do so.

Worry not about the father.  He is quite safe with your children.  He is not the strongest influence on them at this time, you are.  And you do well by them.  Now teach them to make choices of healthy and healing ways by taking care of things that are at hand. What is holding you back right now?  You.  You are paralyzed , you fear change dearest one even though it is right there. All of the great capacity within you and brilliance in your mind.  So why is this?  Are you repeating that that is familiar?  For even in pain familiarity can be comfortable.  How do I be?   By being, by acting, by doing.  And, at first, if it seems frightening pretend it isn’t. For you, it is time to try it on, step.  I know as I speak this your heart will race with fear of that that is unfamiliar.  But you can do it.