HL writes, “I have had one broken marriage earlier and am separated in the second marriage too, for the last 2 years now. All this time, there has been lot of hurt, pain and clashes due to verbal exchanges and communications, with my second husband. Although my husband has been persistent to get me back into his life, but experiencing his ways of living, drinking habit, emotional outbursts, I am very scared to re-unite. Please guide me if divorce is the only solution or is there any chance of reconciliation?


The gentle being is confused as to whom is asking for.  Perhaps that has always been the case.  The question put out is will the ex, ever get control and peace within life, or will the self get peace and control in life.  I feel the confusion terribly, dearest.  Is divorce ever an answer, is it the freedom?  Only after much struggle.  You listen very intently to all others and find it very hard to come to your choice.  It is as if you do not have a road map.  But you do not even have a space of who to be.  It is right here in your mind you ask: how do I get to this?  How did this happen?  Will there ever be peace?  Will you ever make a choice for peace?  

The back and forth is not good for you, my dear.  Your body tries very hard to tell you and it needs to be paid great attention to.  There is much stress in your physical being and that is what you must address.  Stop all of your thinking.  Pay attention to your physical being as it is trying very hard to speak to you right now.  When you find healing then start to look outside of your being.  There is way too much stress.

How should  she pay attention to her physical being?

Firstly, by listening to it.  The tightness in the abdomen, the tightness across the chest, the inability sometimes to take a deep breath, feeling of dizziness, the inability to think through a whole thought.  These things are all present.  Sometimes going to a professional will help if the professional is given enough time to do so to help her to see and feel and to address the rest of it.  The world irritates this one.  Translated it means: I am not coping right now.  Pay attention to that.  Seek someone, some place, where you can speak of your inner fears, confusion and pain.  Then, you will heal part of you and then look to others.  But firstly, your own.