IS asks about her anger. She writes, “I am dealing with an anger issue throughout my life. It is not that I am constantly angry but it comes out from time to time. Unfortunately, I am still not able to control my anger outbursts. This is promlematic as I hurt people who are close to me and who I love. It also affects my current relationship with my boyfriend.
I feel very guilty about it but still can`t control it. It also feels that part of this anger I carry around is not part of me but rather “external” anger that takes control over me. I am also wondering if this anger is the reason for me being such a serious person and having trouble to be truly happy. Please dear spiritual guides help me and give me some advise. I am very thankful for your insight.”
Dearest IS, your anger comes automatically. It is a defense: Don’t hurt me. Don’t get too close. I am not worthy of love. It comes early from your life where you were not seen. You were an object, someone’s little trophy, someone’s beautiful little thing that really does not have feelings, emotions or a say in anything. There were large expectations upon you. And so, it was only through a temper tantrum that you were seen. And it worked–but now it doesn’t.
Do not be angry or sad. Welcome it. Say alright, this helped me to be who I needed to be. It helped me to be seen. It helped me grow but I need it no longer and so I must now put it down. So every time it boils up understand it is the little girl trying to be seen. You are not that little girl any longer. The anger is there and it is stifling you. It is time to let go of that. Time to release it like peeling an orange or a lemon. Are you sugar inside or are you sour? You are sugar my dear. Do not be afraid of you. But you will have to work on redoing your old ways. Nothing to be afraid of; in fact, welcome it. Embrace it my dear. See it as a warm thing to do–to let the world touch you without your armor.