How do we know if we are growing, or not growing?
Opening Mind – I have questions about “no growth”. You often talk about people in “no growth” phases. How do we recognize these moments in our own lives? Is it important that we always personally seek growth? Or are times of no growth in our lives necessary for rejuvenation, like the cycles and seasons of nature where in spring and summer growth flourishes, but then subsides and becomes dormant in fall and winter. (Unchecked growth is can be a cancer! )
If we as individuals feel we are growing and changing, how do we interact and stay connected with the important people in our lives who might appear to be in “no growth” phases by their seeming resistance to change or who we witness making the same choices over and over again (like addictions)?
How to recognize a state of no growth within yourself is perhaps the most difficult, but not impossible. Are you repeating the same thing over and over again? Is the same condition of struggle, or difficulty appearing again and again, perhaps wearing a different form and different body, but the same difficulty. Are you just going over the same thing and not moving forward, or understanding why?
There are two reasons for this. If you are just simply turning away from it and ignoring it that is a state of no growth; but if you are looking at it and asking yourself what am I missing, am I not getting the full understanding of this? Then you are simply at a standstill and not complete.
Beings that are very instilled in a state of not moving forward become sickened by it. It is so heavy that they will often choose to dull the senses that the body has created for them. For they will create drama in order to cause a deflection from that that is. And it repeats over and over. But if you understand about no growth then you probably aren’t doing it.
Can one ever take a break from growth?
It is always only one direction my dear. No growth is not a restful time, my blessed one. No growth is a very difficult time. It is true there are times when the body and the spirit just rejoice in each other and need rest and sleep and laughter. It needs to step away from that that is expected and just simply bathe and be.
But there is not a need to be stuck?
Yes, that is so different from being stuck. It is a time of celebrating, of being. Which is very important to do.
She asks If we feel we are growing and changing how then do we interact and stay connected with people who may be or seem to be in no growth phases?
Well, my dear, I will answer this. Your frustration that you feel with this one that is not moving the same direction you are right now, does not mean that at some point that they will. Beings that have promises together move back and forth through passages of growth, one moving forward and the other one loving. And the other one moves forward and the other one loving.
Hopefully, neither will fall out of love during these times and you will be able to continue this back and forth. There are definitely times in every passage of life when you are going to see someone you love very dearly who you do not even know any more. They don’t feel, or think, or speak the same way. You feel totally alone and desperate in this condition. But it doesn’t mean it is a state of no growth. It simply means that each one takes their own time to move forward.
If the period of time goes on too long, then you will know that you must choose to find a way forward that you can continue to grow. You must always continue to grow.
One never would choose to stay in a place of no growth for another being, as more than not you would become ill and not the other being. It would be so against every grain of your being, against every vibration of every cell. It would cause way too much friction.
What about people who may be making the same choices over and over again, or in an addictive situation? Is that a situation of no growth?
Yes, it often is.
How do we do deal with people like that?
By seeing it, by speaking of it, by witnessing it and by loving them enough to tell them what you see. Do not pretend it does not exist for that only harms them and you. Do not hide. Nothing heals from being hidden. Certain elements of the physical domain, certain elements to learn are difficult. But nothing here, nothing, cannot be healed if the choices are made to be the light that they are.
It is very frustrating for someone to watch another one, a loved one over and over again with difficulties not seeing them, not acknowledging it, denying it. You must grow. You must move forward.
Bless you. Bless you all for being, for being willing to seek and being willing to speak to those of us. Ask. Ask for yourselves, ask for your growth. This is what opens the doors for you and for those beings of spirit that are with you. Bless you all.
You say: “Ask. Ask for yourselves, ask for your growth. This is what opens the doors for you and for those beings of spirit that are with you.” I have almost been afraid to ask for myself, as if it is self indulgent or something I should know already, or something that I might not want to know. I have had key moments in my life where I have felt truly guided by the wisdom of spirit guides. I feel so lucky and blessed. But I know that ahead of me, of course, lies loss and grief as, inevitably, loved ones around me pass on, or even my life comes to an end. There is no escaping it. I guess what I would like to ask is where to put my energies and passion. Is it my writing? Or is it my new company? (Which seems to be going great guns and bringing good work to others, too, and helping in positive ways.) My kids seem to be thriving, and that has been my key focus for more than 20 years. So, dare I ask, what now for me? Where lies my growth and contribution?