She has fear but she also understands that he must make this choice. And at this time he chooses the surgery. The outcome she well knows. She knows that this world is very heavy on him, stresses him. He has not changed his actions, his belief, his understanding. If the surgery could have cut out that and replaced it with a positive outlook so he could make choices that will support him, then yes, it would be successful.
Yeah, that’s the kind of surgery we all need. So how can we do that surgery?
It has not been developed yet.
Pat also wondered if her husband’s depression or anger interferes with his healing.
She knows that it does. This being needs to have someone other than his wonderful wife to talk to. He needs to have someone with whom he feels safe and confident–someone that will actually push him to talk about his life, his early life, his whole life. He knows he has some issues from early life. This state of depression is a result of a feeling he has about himself. He sees himself as helpless–he is not. But that’s how he has an understanding of himself. He needs someone with no judgment. (Not that his wife has–she adores him and loves him and is supportive of him but she has fear.) She’s afraid she is seeing him make choices that are destructive of his being and so there’s a part inside her that is frightened. She needs to separate from that and trust that he shall find a way.
She can help him find someone, but he must be willing. Before anything happens there must be willingness to look openly and wanting. He believed that there could be a magic bullet. Well, it took a long time to get into the state he is in so it’s going to take a long time to heal. You can’t undo it quickly, but first comes the healing of the attitude towards it. It’s not the actual cellular structures that change quickly but the understanding that lies beneath. That can happen in an instant.
So, a shift, and then it takes longer for the healing to occur?
Yes, to create the new cells and bring it forth.
So a counselor could help him make this shift?
He needs to understand that there are many choices and that he is the creator of this state he his in. Not in some anger, not in some destructive means, but in love and understanding of his being.