T – I was removed from a group because I spoke harshly about a person’s motives. I did not try to hurt the person. I sincerely apologized and offered to make amends, but that did not help. Also, I had an incident about a year prior. I stayed away since I did not want to risk another incident. When I thought it was fine, I went back. However, another incident occurred, and I don’t see how I could have avoided it, and I am tired of feeling bad and getting depressed.
I am doing my best to love myself through this by not feeling guilty, hurt, or angry at myself for what happened. Plus, I need to stay positive for my cats. Would I still be in group if I had not continued to talk about it? What do I do now? Is my reputation bad now?
I really don’t know what to do anymore in terms of women friendships. I feel this has to do with the women in my family. In fact, I am not on good terms with a few of them. What can you tell me that will help me, but not make me feel at fault or guilty? I don’t want to fall into another major depression and be stuck for several years feeling like a failure again. Thank you.
Firstly, my dear, I want to ask why do you think it is you that is in the wrong? One of the beings in that group is very negative and doesn’t allow a being to grow, or move, or will not even listen to anyone else’s thoughts or judgment, or just allow them to be. It is up to you, of course. You can keep going back to that that you have known. But many of those beings you do not even want to converse with now. Old ways do not fit you anymore. You are a new being. Find a new group, preferably one not of religion or politics.
Find a group that is one of joy, perhaps a society that helps the care of animals. Or, perhaps you could offer your help at a place that saves injured animals. Seek a different venue for your wonderful energy. See not that you must change in order to fit an old way that no longer fits you. The women in your family, many women often need to speak their judgments and be harsh against others because they are unsure of where they be. Allow them that, my dearest, and do not waste your time obsessing about how they think of you. It really does not effect you. Be the light that you are, blessed one. Move in light that creates joy for you. Let them have their labels and you be who you need to be. Bless you my child.