Sarah has several questions. She is concerned about her health as she has been losing weight and has abdominal pain, but her doctor doesn’t seem to think it’s serious. She writes, “I think my doctor is looking for a quick or easy diagnosis. What is causing the intense pain in my abdomen? Is this pain a sign of something very wrong physically within my body? Cancer? I need some guidence as i am not feeling well at all. At times i just want to give up.
My other questions are to do with the relationship I am currently in. I have been seeing a woman for the past 6 months and I’m starting to doubt that she is being faithful to me and she doesn’t want to be with me anymore. When she is drinking she becomes verbally aggressive towards me and also flirts intensely with other people. When she sobers up the next day she says sorry and promises me it won’t happen again. Things are then great for a couple weeks and then that conflict towards me from her returns. It seems to be a cycle repeating. Is this relationship going to end up long term? Does she love me as much as she says she does? Is how she is when drinking my fault? What can I do to break this negative cycle in this relationship?
Fear. Fear can take you to a place where she does not want to go. There are a lot of adhesions and scar tissue in this abdomen. Mostly what has occurred here is fear. This child is very anxious and does not even take deep breaths when she breathes. She needs breathing exercises, some yogis could help her with this, to maintain her own power over her body to understand that she is in control of it. And that for some reason it is speaking pain because it is feeling very much fear, that there must be an ailment to be seen. That there must be a doctor to see her, for this is the only way for attention to be felt.
Does her family not see her?
They are all thinking that she is making it up and she knows this. She feels very helpless. Too much fear. She needs to have some joy and laughter, to find passion again would be the greatest thing.
So that leads to her other question about the relationship.
This being, this gentle, beautiful Sarah is using ailments and illness to try to find love. It is what happens sometimes when one is deprived of it in a lifetime and they find it through the attention that is received through some health difficulties. She is confused about who she be and where she be.
Dear one, let the relationship go for now. The relationship with your own body, your own being, your place in the physical world is the most important at this time. You are not a victim, you are a creator of your life, remember this. You have a choice, my dear. You are a brilliant being, but you are thinking too small for you right now. If you could just see the beauty of your being. You are very creative. You can write about this path you are on and it will help many in your process of healing.
It is to you I want to express my love. That you are not alone, my dear. You have felt lonely forever. You have felt that everyone else is seeing and being, but you are not. It is not true. Yes, you’ve had difficulties. Yes, you have not been seen and be heard. But you can be if you will allow yourself to hear yourself, you are even denying that, dearest. Are you on the way out? If you choose it. But you do not have to. I believe it would be best for you to find a friend or someone that will help you on this journey. But do not put your life into their hands. Put it into your own. But speak of your deep desires and loves and wants. Begin to fertilize them with your love and allow them to grow and to grow out of you and into a full, happy path. It is true you found yourself in a place where you are very uncomfortable and you are seeking attention and love from all of the wrong places. But it must come from you first dear. It is for you alone that I have come to speak. I want you to know that I love you and I am with you.