Would it be helpful to live with someone who is without feelings? Would it be helpful to live with one who is so stoic and perfect? No, that’s unrealistic isn’t it? You must be who you are. And in that there are many different degrees of being human — anger, frustration, these are often the basis of love. Do not worry or question these feelings. You are not destructive. There is nothing within you that destroys. Your feelings are feelings of survival, of free will. It is this that you wish to stir in the one you love.
You wish to stir his basic need of being and you are responding in all the natural, physical forms. You have not come to this physical plane to be angelic. Although you always radiate love. You are allowed all the emotions — fear, anger, happiness. Understand that you are often mirroring and this is what he needs.
Sometimes I feel I am being sucked down into that black hole and have to struggle to get out.
Yes, and it is in these times that you must think of your free will, your own survival instinct. This “black hole” does not exist. It is simply a vibration you sense of hopelessness. This is a part of his existence that he must love. It is a time for him to experience the feeling of not being in control, to feel like a child, to see the weakness of the human existence and find strength in it.
Don’t ever be afraid to show your anger. He needs to learn that anger doesn’t have to be directed inward, or at any being, but can just be. There are many things within him that are waiting to be discovered. He feels a need to look well in the eyes of others. He is a kind and gentle being that has much within him that needs to be let out; temper and tears and anger that he has never expressed. To a father that was never there, to a mother that worried about small things that had little to do with his life. He could never speak of his feelings. Though I am not condemning them. Know that he has every ability to come through this time. He will come through stronger and it will not be a mask; it will be real.