Seek it my child. Seek it. I know you feel that if you let it be known that you do not like what you are doing many would look on you as being unbalanced. It is not true my dear. And it does not matter what others think. It matters what you think, what you need. By all means, they might think “who would want to give up such a position?” But this position doesn’t fit your heart, gentle one.
You need to fly (as you say, using the name Redbird). You need to fly and be that that you are. But also there is a part of you that wants to settle down and nurture and be in one spot and others come to you. You need to find out your truth. You need to walk on the soles of your feet and be that that you are. Why do you think you must answer a call that is not yours. Your life is calling you. Listen and you will find your truth.