Nicole – Hello again. Thank you for all the guidance you have offered me thus far. If I may – just over a year ago I asked a question of you regarding finding a partner and your answer (in a nutshell) was that there was a person who would love me, but I had to ‘let them in’. I have struggled to understand what this meant – in practical, everyday terms that is, and a year later no such partner has appeared. I am beginning to feel that all hope is lost. I have tried to make a space for them in my life, but it feels more like a large gaping hole! I know I am getting old, and I am no oil painting! (lol). Has this person since moved one? I can’t expect them to wait. I know the ‘issue’ for me is one of self acceptance, and I have come to understand that I have built a barricade around my heart because deep down, for many, many reasons, I feel unworthy of being loved. But I feel so alone. Does it have to be this way? How can I open my heart to love when all I feel is pain?
Well, my dear, firstly you have succeeded You have guarded your heart and if you are aware of that, you are half the way there. You know, change and acceptance of loving one’s self, although they sound so simple are layers deep, are layers deep, my dear.
I want you to know that you are beautiful. Put down your armor and put down the façade that is so exhausting. Go out into your world and look eye to eye with people, heart to heart, hand to hand and say just one thing like “hello, how are you?” Or talk about the flowers, or talk about what is in the paper, or “oh, look at that I’ve spilled my coffee.” But speak words.
There are many in your life that are living solitary, lonely times when it needn’t be. To commune with another being, just simply to speak and share some time. Have no expectations. Do not think the one you gaze into their eyes is going to be there for the rest of your life; simply for the moment. This moment is what makes the rest of your life.
You’ve read every self help book in the world. You’ve heard every bit of advice. Put them to action. Put them to one side, clear off the table. Put a flower up on the table for you, to love you, to draw love to you. You are a beautiful picture, one of the finest creations. Do you know God lies within? How could that energy be anything but beautiful.
Now, fill your pockets with love. Go out into your world and when you feel the most nervous, squeeze that love bit and have it come out. Have it come out and fill the moment between you and that person you wish to speak to and say “hello.” Say “hi” or just smile and open your heart to that being and let that energy flow through and around and do it again, and again, and again until you have so many wanting to be part of your light. Trust me, my dear, it works. You don’t need to be alone. You are loved.