I deeply love and respect and admire my husband on many different levels, but I want more. I long to feel connected and intimate and yet, somehow I feel blocked and shut out. I feel he is withholding himself from me and yet can share himself with others who are not me. Talking doesn’t work. Not talking doesn’t work. Actions don’t work. Focusing elsewhere or strictly on the positive diverts me for awhile. Do I need to get over it and accept what is, instead of wishing for something he can’t/won’t give? Do I have to wait for the afterlife to feel connected? Is there a reason for it to be this way now? I love my women friends, but I want partnership and collaboration with him, too. Am I asking too much?
The guide’s response:
No dearest, you are not asking for too much. But you are blocking your own growth by not seeing all that is present for you. You are taking steps backward to try to meet the needs of another and yet you know you are not responsible for another’s growth.
Choosing to be with a partner represents a promise, an element of growth. You have chosen to be with this one to grow, to move forward, to support, to love. This has been removed from your ability by the choices of the other beyond your responsibility. The promise is not complete and that is why you feel this way, but it does not mean you must stop your growth in order to complete it. It means be that you choose for your own being to move forward, always understanding that that one will be where they are and not to ask for anything else. That being fears many things, fears talking, fears growing, and feels a great lack of being. This is not your responsibility.
You choose life and you choose to grow and move forward. Anoint yourself with love, dearest one, and care for your being. Give yourself the love that you desperately need and deserve. And choose to move where you need to attain the love that is there for you. By staying and trying with this one constantly you are putting yourself in a state of no growth and that is a great frustration for you. It is only you can answer and create peace within yourself. You must find what is right for you. You are looking for permission, even from me and from him. Your friends will tell you to seek others to find the right love. You need to find it for yourself, the permission to do, to be, to grow. You love so dearly extending it to all beings; do not limit yourself, blessed one. Seek the light that you want. It shall be there for you.