Understanding that you are responsible for your choices

DA writes:


Greetings.  How can I best support my young relative who is now in the hospital? I love and want him to live and make better choices for himself. He recently asked me to live with him and I said no which was hard to do. The last time he stayed with me it was difficult. He is an amazing young man and has inspired me very much. I do struggle with his choices and that he is not respectful of rules.


The guide’s response:


Hello my dear.  To best support this child is to love, to be, to hear him.  And to speak to this one that there is a way; that within are his choices that he must be responsible for. So empower him to help him see his own power.  His choices brought him to where he is at this very moment, no one else’s. It is hard when he feels he is all alone but he must see himself as a survivor, as a strong and radiant being that has come to help others.  He knows this in his being.  He must now find the strength in himself to make the choices. There are no band-aids.  He is not a victim.  He is exactly where he is because of his choices.  Yes, there were conditions that happened from earlier times that made him feel that others were responsible. Now, he is responsible. Until he understands this, time and time again, he will bring himself a step backwards.  It is true he is weary of that and now wants to embrace his own life, a good life filled with love, filled with beings of light.


He knows you want to help. He knows this already.  He is asking this of you.  This is another way that he does not have to make a choice for himself.  It is his turn to grow, to be.  Speak to him that this is a great, exciting and wonderful thing and that each choice can make him wiser and healthier.  See him as he is new and fresh in the moment that you be with him.  See not that that was, or yet to be, but see what is.  For it is in that moment, that is the creative force that will create what will be.  Don’t fear my child.  Your love must just be love, accepting of that, that is. Do not see choices that he might make as any less.  Love.  Allow him his growth and his choices, but also speak openly that his choices have brought him to where he is now.  And his choices will take him to where he will go.  And the creative moment is in the clarity of now.

Joanna adds:

This beautiful comment was posted on  November  21st by someone who has had personal experience with addiction.  Thank you K8 for your inspiring words.

I would like to offer to you my own experience in recovery from addiction. First, it took every single drink I took to get me to the bottom of my journey where I could be open to new answers. The people who were trying to help me actually ended up hindering me from getting to the abyss that I needed to get to in order to look for new answers. Love him. Love, love, love him. But allow him to direct his own life. Taking responsibility for oneself is one of the keys to recovery. From whatever illness it stems. Addiction, depression, anxiety – whatever it is. I had to learn to be responsible for my recovery. And when I did, I started to get better. Be still and know that he will make his choices as he will make him. But love him. That is all that is necessary.

By | 2017-05-28T12:53:10+00:00 November 17th, 2010|Categories: Family, Growth and choices|0 Comments

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  1. maurice November 17, 2010 at 11:48 am - Reply

    dear guides! i would like to know if yu see 2011 will be better for me? This year, it was hard in every aspect of my life. I see myself drinking more and more and i hate that. thank-you!

  2. A November 17, 2010 at 4:50 pm - Reply

    I have a question I always have been pondered on since I found an inner peace and understanding of spirit. Forgiveness will set you free, and it is so easy for me to forgive people around me to the point that I am thinking that I might just be stupid. My previous boyfriend was cheating on me and I forgave him since he has a lot of issues and especially issues with being left alone (all relates to his childhood) and then I gave him a second chance (which did not work out). Am I lacking self-worth or is it that I genuinely have a huge heart.
    Cheers, A

  3. J November 17, 2010 at 5:40 pm - Reply

    I would like to know about the energies of electronic devices like cell phones, wireless internet, microwaves, etc. I’ve heard that some people are extremely sensitive to this type of radiation. I’ve also heard that this is the reason for the world-wide collapse of honey bee populations. Is this true? If so, how can we protect ourselves from this pervasive radiation? And is there anything that can be done to help the birds and the bees that are also affected?
    Thanks for your advice.
    J

  4. esperanza November 18, 2010 at 11:36 am - Reply

    now that i have made a lot of mistakes and have finally become clear on the whole idea, i would like to continue on and really give a lot of energy and effort and work into my web site business. is this still a profitable and wise idea? is there any other advice you can give me to help me along with this venture? are there partners out there still who would like to work with me, who will be willing and excited to make this happen?
    Many many thanks.
    E.S.

  5. Nancy November 18, 2010 at 9:06 pm - Reply

    Hi. I have been nursing my old horse Cheers for some time now. He has started to have problems approximately 3 years ago. He started with some colic problems, which I nursed him through and then he got really bad abscesses a year ago and in the fall the abscesses came back and he was very very stiff. I have tried doctor him the best that I can and I thought that I was getting there again. Last night at 10 oclock I gave them their evening feed and he was fine and when I got up to feed them this morning at 530 I found him in a total mess. He has been thrashing around for some time and in the process had injured his eyes and he had colic very badly. I had some problems getting him to get up but he did for me but needed to lie down very soon after. I was sick and I called the vet but I knew that it was over. The Vet determined that Cheers did not want to be here anymore and we had to euthanize him. It was very sad for me. I had to console his best pal Sunny for the afternoon and evening and I am sure that I will for some time. They were together for 20 years and I have had both of them for 21 years. I loved him he was “papa Cheers” my rock. I am sure that Sunny will move on and in time I will as well but I have this aching pain inside that I did this to him. I tried so hard to help him but in doing so did I hurt him. I loved the guy and I know that he had these problems but what went so terrbily wront last night? I miss him so much. I just want him to know that. Please let me know that he is in a better place and that he chose to go. I have a horrible pang of guilt that doesnt want to go. thank you.

  6. violet November 18, 2010 at 9:16 pm - Reply

    hello. conversations with my mother tend to give me a headache. sometimes a stomach ache. sometimes i wish to not talk to her ever again. why is this? i feel guilty about this but it is truth. does she really believe she is better and smarter than everyone? she is smart but so brash. she preaches deep compassion but this is contrary to her constant disapproval and inadequacy of most beings. i have no idea what to do with her. dear guides do you have any advice?

  7. k8 November 21, 2010 at 4:10 pm - Reply

    I would like to offer to you my own experience in recovery from addiction. First, it took every single drink I took to get me to the bottom of my journey where I could be open to new answers. The people who were trying to help me actually ended up hindering me from getting to the abyss that I needed to get to in order to look for new answers. Love him. Love, love, love him. But allow him to direct his own life. Taking responsibility for oneself is one of the keys to recovery. From whatever illness it stems. Addiction, depression, anxiety – whatever it is. I had to learn to be responsible for my recovery. And when I did, I started to get better. Be still and know that he will make his choices as he will make him. But love him. That is all that is necessary.

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