Nancy D’anjou writes, “Dear Guides, since I got back from my trip to India I cannot stop thinking I should have stayed longer. I cannot stop thinking of selling my condo and going away again traveling. I have done some work on myself; doing some meditation, loving myself, being patient with myself–but the desire to go away again is still inside of me. I would like to go to Spain and go to India again and finish seeing what I did not see and explore Nepal. I do not feel any desire for things anymore, owning a home or having furniture. I know now that those things are never going to make you happy and fulfil your heart. I do not feel home in the city where I live now.”
Dearest one, you are seeking permission to run. You are seeking information to escape. You will not find that when you seek in these places, for it is not in a place. What you seek is love. The emptiness you feel is not that you do not need to own things, it is that you are seeking everything. Your discomfort is because you are at the precipice of great learning and understanding. To love thyself is the greatest gift. For then you can be that with whomever you need to love. There is one you had a lifetime of confusion, seeking to moor your boat to a safest harbor and not understanding that you are the rough seas, that you were the one tossed about not knowing, trying to adapt. Trying to learn under stormy weather is very difficult for a being. You feel calm when you are moving and traveling for that is what is familiar to you dearest. Upheaval, torment, you want to keep moving.
You are not a failure. You have done no wrong and you are definitely lovable. How do you find love of self? How do you know you are a good being? By looking upon yourself and by witnessing your own being. There are many meditations in the physical world that can help with this. You have done outside travel, astral travel, or whatever you wish to call it, to witness your own path, to seek your being. It is amazing. This is not the answer you seek. This is not beyond you. Travel if you must, but travel to the center of you first. Speak to that amazing being to come forward. Choose to be love.