Stepping away from one whose behaviour is abusive

KCKKM says she desperately needs advice about a person in her life whose behavior is incredibly abusive. She says, “Unfortunately this person will be a part of my life for a very long time. Can you please give me some advice on how to protect myself from him emotionally, perhaps how to keep him from getting to me. Why is he so mean? why does my presence make him angry? Why does he not want me to succeed? Is there anything concrete to his threatening behavior or is it all just a cry for attention and what can I do to improve this situation?”

Dear one, you’ve answered your own question.  It is all a cry for attention.  He is very fearful that you are moving on in light and happiness and achieving things, and soon will be on a completely different path from him.  He finds this very threatening and wants you very much to be under his control as you were in the past.

He is not a bad person.  He is just actually making a lot of noise and really doesn’t have the power to affect you at all, other than if you accept what he says.  Your attachment with him is really limited. It is much more the others in his life that have more of an attachment than you.  You need to embrace the fact of your strength and your growth.  You have done amazingly in the last little while–even the fact that you see this and understand it.  The fact that this one still bothers you and can bother you it is your choice.  You do not need to let this happen.

Oh I know this seems complicated in your life.  It isn’t my dear.  Step outside of it and look at it.  Give the advice to yourself that you have given many others.  You are a very wise person. You do know what you need to do.

She says that this person will be part of her life for a very long time.

Mnnn.

But she is able to step forward and away from that?

Yes.  Her understanding of “a long time” isn’t  quite the truth.  But I understand what it is she is saying.

Any final words for this person?

You are a most beautiful being and you are doing very well.

By | 2017-05-28T12:54:06+00:00 October 5th, 2009|Categories: Moving forward in difficult times|0 Comments

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  1. Sam October 6, 2009 at 7:06 am - Reply

    Hello,For the past couple of years I have been largely single. Naturally, at a young age I am impatient to meet someone whom I resonate with. I do not have the same goals as most people in life; my set of interests seem to be rare and so it seems are women who I feel comfortable with.Recently I have begun to more actively pursue the general process of meeting people, not just women. I have become more confident and free in my interactions. However I still long to meet a girl whom I feel I can connect with. There are girls around me whom I have considered, but I consistently feel a blockage somewhere in my body when I’m around them, and this intuition keeps me from committing. My question is, “what is the next step I should take in order to meet a girl with whom I can feel a connection and develop a relationship?” I have been told multiple times by a psychic friend that a girl named Heather is somewhere in my future…since that time the prevalence of the name “Heather” has significantly increased, whether I hear the name in passing, see it in books, magazines, billboards, everywhere it seems. Always I feel as if something is trying to communicate something to me.So I wonder if this Heather girl is an inevitability or whether I need to find her or what is going on…I am confused as to the next step on the path of relationship. Thank you so much for your light and guidance. I thoroughly appreciate it.Sam

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