You have lived 36 lifetimes and you wrote under a pseudonym and it matters not what your name was. But you wrote beautiful monastic poems. That is all you need to know from that.
If you are truly want more information about your past there are many processes that you can do to obtain some of this. The best ones are self hypnosis, the going back you go back into a time where you are attracted to certain times, certain elements.
But, remember, you are here now for a reason. You have returned because you are not yet complete.Trust is on-going. The important things from past existence come with you as they are present in your vibrational state, or code, or whatever you wish to call it. That is why some beings will have strong urges to go to certain places or memories of doing certain things that are not in their now life.
You bring forward that that is not yet completed as you have done so in your very path you are in. So, do not concentrate too much on that, more on now.