I’ve had about as much pain as I can endure in this lifetime. I would like to ask if you see me overcoming my paranoia and mental illness any time soon? I’m at the verge of taking my own life. Nothing has worked for me. What must I do? What are the repercussions of suicide?
The guide’s response:
Firstly, my dear, I want to know you are not alone. There are many beautiful guides or spirits that are with you, that surround you. It is often in the darkest moments of the physical experience when you feel the state of no growth that there are more entities of light and love with you. At this time you are doing more work than you have any conscious understanding of. It is the time of the greatest growth. You are seeking to understand you.
Your mental illness (as you call it), your state of dis-ease, you wonder why you have come again to walk in this pain to learn it again. That is why you are frustrated and you feel so terribly alone. But you really have to understand that there are many who want to help you. You must speak and you must write of the wonder within you.
I know you have thoughts of just leaving, but part of you is very aware that you will have to do this all over again. Know that leaving the physical plane is not an escape from this pain that you have chosen to understand, that you would return again to the pain, to the same circumstances, to the same promises. It is clarity you need, that you did come for a purpose. The pain has a purpose. You do have a choice in how much you are willing to accept of it.
It is hard to experience the wonderful gift that pain offers. It makes you aware of a body that holds you, of a voice that can speak, of a mind that will try with the help of hands and a voice to put it in a form to see yourself as a great artist struggling to put your experience on a canvas, or on a page. Do not think that great artists that come before you, or are present with you, do not feel pain or do not feel alone. You dwell in a place where you are separate from others. I know you seek to be with that oneness again.
You came with a purpose. In the physical world you are separated with a body so you are separate from one another, all of you, no one any different. Seek, rest, express your artistic view of that that you be. Help others to grow. Help the new souls by sharing yours with them. This is only done in the physical world my dear. All of it, bless it, breathe deep in it and see its wonder and beauty. Lift up your eyes from your pain and thank it–for you are beautiful. You are a magnificent being and will heal many from your very pain. You are light and love blessed one.