j.d. writes, “I appreciate what you have written and I am trying, but I cannot seem to find any compassion for myself and am unable to cry, especially for myself. The feelings that have surfaced have been so filled with guilt and anger and inability to feel anything positive. I have begun working with a psychic energy worker but feel I am wasting her time. But mostly I just wanted to say thank you! I do appreciate someone taking the time to respond.” I wonder if you have any further words for this person.
Dear, dear j.d. You are doing the right thing. You are not wasting anyone’s time. When a person chooses to be blocked or stuck in a place that is familiar, it is not an easy task to unleash. For part of it is protecting, and part of it is just familiar and a place to be. But there is joy within you. There is love within you. For you have given it to others. Try to see that reflection. There are many that love you. But you do deflect it very well. It is good that you are working with someone who is of spirit. Make it your growth, not theirs. That often happens with someone like yourself who is so willing to surrenderer your own need in order to fill the needs of others.
So , how do you get to know j.d.? Firstly I would not use those initials. Firstly I would talk to yourself in a tone of love. Call yourself “love.” Dearest one, when you look at yourself in the mirror, say “hello you!” in tenderness, not in negative. Speak to yourself in loving terms, as you would the most precious child that you would nurture. See yourself as that babe in the wilderness, needing protection, needing love. You have a very strong conscious mind, a very protective mind. It needed to be, raised by conditions that were not tender, not self-loving. But you still have it. For you survived.
And in a deep, the deepest part of your being, there is light. I know this. So give yourself time. Follow not any one rule to find you. Have no expectations as to when it will be, but let your physical world touch you. For you have come to it to learn, to grow, to be part of it. It is tender. Breathe it. Drink it. And let it hold you like the mother it is. And you shall learn to love you.