My dearest one, you have such a shield up to protect yourself from barbs. But if you were to put that shield down, and if you were to think that the arrows coming at you were merely ones of love (ones coming from a place of fear and unacceptance), would you feel a need for the armor? No.
When beings send forth negativity it is because they are trying to protect themselves. In other words, dearest one, your brother feels very unloved, unwanted, as if he was never seen by his parents. He felt that you were loved more than him. He felt that others were always more important. He felt that he was not important, nor seen. Sound familiar?
Yes, as you often feel in your own life, in your own path, so did your brother. He didn’t see that he was in a special position or a place of understanding. The opposite was true. In fact it was a mirror in many ways of that that you felt. Oh yes, different circumstances perhaps, but the same attitude was placed upon him that was placed upon you.
So begin first by forgiving him and forgiving yourself. Forgiving and forgiveness is firstly the most important thing to do for yourself. For it takes away expectations of changing or doing any act to undo that was. Forget all that was. You do labor it so; you go back over and over to times that only cause anxiety and tension in your abdomen.
Yes, it’s true, he’s as angry at you as you are at him. But in truth it isn’t at each other though, but at perhaps the circumstances that you were present in. If you could both just be at peace with who you are and how. You cannot undo that that was, but you can change now by the choices you make. If you change with one little way of thinking from negative to positive, you will then again love him–and yourself. And it matters not what he might say or do, if you believe that all that comes before you is because he truly loves you, you have the power do this, to change, to alter.
You are going around in a mad state right now. Mad and angry, going over and over many issues that have truly nothing to do with you and your path. They are old perceptions of what you had, or were, or who you be. Stop that talking. Stop that negative reel that goes on and on in your mind.
How do you stop it? By choosing to. When you hear yourself saying, “If only…” Then go, “No. He does love me. And I love him.” And that be it. Put nothing else to it. Hang no other negatives on it.
If you could channel all that energy that you put into worrying about this, think how much lighter you would be. Let him carry his own burdens, hopefully to make himself peaceful. And you, dearest one, own yours. Each has a path that was united and affected by energies early on. But now you get to choose whether they still can affect you. In order to do this, you must see this.
You go back and forth, two steps forward, three steps back. You reach enlightenment and awareness—and then you go, “But what if, and what was and how come?” No. If you are to embrace the wonder of you, you must release all that was. Thank it for creating the amazing being you are—no matter what it was—and move into the light of who you be.
And trust in yourself. For a thought can be a wish, can be a prayer. And are your prayers worthy of you? I believe you are a wondrous being, my dear. BE.