My life has taken many twists and turns. I’ve been a professional social worker, addict and streetwalker. Today, I’m employed as a traffic control person while I await a pardon, afterwards I plan to resume Social Work with a keen eye on doing something to heal and resolve the issues of dead/missing prostitutes in our communities. Poetry flows, research continues but I am at a lose on how to further pursue my life purpose. A few weeks ago, my night was filled with red dots on a google type map, which were pointing me in the direction of bodies…I have been interviewed by R.C.M.P, with hopes of producing key information. However, the drugs at the time, clouded my memories and rendered me seemily useless. It’s not a popular subject, even among my social work peers and I feel a lose of direction.
The guide’s response:
This one is such a romantic being, one who loves love, loves the excitement of being. Dear one, that critical edge of life has always attracted you to the highs and lows; it is why you write. I might say you are an emotional, critical being. It isn’t that you are wanting to be in the highs and the lows, but that you have found in your path that is where you feel the most alive. There is a great part of you that is numbed and so it seems the highs and lows are the only part of your path that speak to you.
That is why you see those that the rest of your civilization does not see. In time that you grow, you will give voice to those that cannot speak. But not that the society will see them, but that they will see themselves. Some beings need actual one-on-one, to help with their growing and moving forward. It’s as if their evolution was interrupted, great spaces of their life blocked out, whether it is the need of the memory to be blank or the need to just get from one time to another. These beings need a kind of mothering, a gentle hand to show them the way. It is what you have learned in life. It is what you will teach.
You can continue your work, but remember, you will be in a difficult place to be heard and seen for many are numb that you work with, not wanting to see it, now wanting to hear. So, take time away from it to breathe, to be. Is it important to help find the bodies, or is it one of those highs that you seek to be seen? I want you to choose what is good for your being. You do not need to justify who you are. You are a blessed being, learning and growing, an ancient soul that has come to help others. Breathe, feed your being the joy of life that is there for you. It need not all be so painful. Bless you my child.