Krista writes, “I lost my best friend a month ago, when she was brutally murdered. My best friend Julie was like my sister and I feel lost without her. The feelings I have are so confusing and are continually changing. I pray that she is in a better place but at times I feel selfish for feeling her spirit with me. I want to know she’s ok and I hope she knows how much she meant to me. She’ll always be my best friend and my other half, I just don’t know what to do without her guidance and support. ago I’ve been feeling so lost and lonely. I don’t know what to do or where to go from there. I want to be able to talk to people again and have friends in the future but I feel guilty for Julie as well as the friends I am supposed to meet. How do I begin to cope with the loss of someone I considered my other half? Please, I need to know if she understands how much I love and miss her?
Blessed one, don’t worry about the future right now. Allow yourself your healing, your grief. Feel it and be in it. Allow the tears to flow. But also understand that you still have a bond with this one. The communication is still very much, in fact is less complicated than before. And in time, you will hear with ease all things necessary. It is known the love. It is known the sadness. It is known the missing. All of this is known from both. But there is also an amazing future for both.
There are at hand, many things that you cannot see at this time. For you need to heal, you need to not see the whole picture of everything. You need to feel the pain and the loss. You are going to help many in the future. So take this time right now to help yourself. The whole of this, is amazing as if you were stepping out of it and looking at the whole of it. I am not making fun of the fact that it would make an unbelievable movie, but one day you will tell the story and write about it and the part of the healing and the connection, the continuum, and that part is very important. And this is not to be dismissed.
As far as feeling that you are hurting her, you are not. This is all part of the greater promise that you love this one enough to complete this promise and that you are continuing on. You will meet others. You will find a way in which to be with others. But give yourself this time right now. There is no set amount of time. There is no limit and don’t allow anyone to say you should be over this. No, you will decide when you are over this. If, in fact, you are feeling stuck or uncomfortable, you will know that you are healed and you are starting to move forward because a sense of that is a good sense. Oh dearest, you have been to the edge. But you can tell others about it for you have chosen to live. Trust in yourself and the love that moves you forward.