A guide’s answer reveals that pain in the body manifests a need for emotional healing
For a year now, I have had problems with my throat. Deep aching in my jaws, tightness in my throat; mucus at the back of my tongue which makes my voice hoarse, and earaches. Sometimes, mid sentence, I cannot get my words out. I sense there is a connection to something I am not able to speak about, fear of expressing myself, holding myself in. Please help me to recognize what the problems are, and how to deal with them.
Oh gentle soul, sweet chameleon, you have truly gone through some amazing experiences, all of which you have not made peace with yet. As a child you always wanted to be the perfect one. That is why I call you a chameleon. You would put on whatever was needed to fill the bill, never truly understanding what love was or what you needed in it.
And so you have tried on many different experiences on your path, some good, some which gave you great growth but you never truly understood. And so you have found yourself now in a state where your physical body speaks to you: It is time to reckon with all of this.
What does this mean? It doesn’t mean that you have to stir it up and feel all the pain–but there is a part of it you must feel. You’re very afraid. You’re afraid of losing, you’re afraid of being alone, you’re afraid of being wrong, you’re afraid of being right. You’re afraid of dying and you’re afraid of living, my blessed one. Fear is a giant monster that lurks just around the corner.
Oh my dear, sweet child, if I had arms I would scoop you up and hold you tight and cuddle you to remind you that you are loved, that you are not alone. I would hold that blessed face and I would say to you: We are here; we will help you move through this. We will help you feel the presence of love in your life.
Your body manifests an acid state. You do not eat, drink or do well for your being. You have developed allergies from the pollens outside and allergies from the foods and drink you have ingested. You need to find a state of light alkalinity so that what you eat will not cause acid to move up through your throat and burn it.
Begin just by trusting that you are not going to die. Everything you need will be fulfilled and you can trust in this. No one has ever made you feel safe. I want to help you feel safe. Know that even in the worst time you with you an amazing guardian or angel or guide that stands very close, that you have become quite frightened of because you feel their presence. But it is not someone who wants to harm you or hurt you, but to sooth you.
I know in the dark of the night you feel very afraid. And so you choose and do things that cause your being to feel very exhausted. Find someone that you can talk to; that you can tell these innermost feelings; that will not harm you but help you to see them back. To see that these are not truths but something that you felt was true. Find someone for yourself–to help you to absorb all that has occurred in a loving, willing way to forgive. Forgiveness is for you, blessed one. Forgiveness allows you not to be held by fear but to be held by love. It frees you to move forward.
I know you speak of your throat. It is acid. Do not take acid blockers because you need the acid. But you need to choose foods that are alkaline—vegetables, many forms. But you have to eat in a very loving way, not flitting about from place to place or just doing it in a high nervous state. Oh lovely one, be still. Eat in loving, gentle ways of nurturing foods. Walk and breathe deep cleansing breaths.
For a time you might need to just sit and cry. And that’s all right. Don’t hide those tears. Don’t block them with pill or with drink, but just be. And find a good friend or perhaps a counseling being that will not judge you but will help you to find balance, to integrate all that has happened that you have not taken the time to absorb.
You have much to do yet. Do not be afraid blessed one. Stand in the light and the love that is all around you. Bless you my child, I love you.