Finding balance with responsibilities and your own needs

Stacy asks how to find balance in her life. She says she feels like she is floundering in responsibility. She is trying to play financial catch-up but she is losing a big part of herself in the process. She feels broken in body and spirit and is unsure how to find balance. She says, “I want to support my partner in gaining her health but feel I am l losing mine in the process. My question is how do I find balance in the chaos?”

Oh, such a caregiver she is. Yes, it’s true she feels she has sold herself for money but in truth she hasn’t. I know she wants very much to change. There’s such a wonderful position and work and everything and she is such a creative being. Such a beautiful being. She is not letting anyone down by truly allowing her being to grow. And she needs to embrace this and allow herself to be. Her partner will love her completely, completely by any choice she would make. She should not feel responsible for their growth in any way, but for her own. For truly that is truly all she can be responsible for is her own growth. And feeling broken and exhausted and tired—truly she’s feeling phony, like she’s not her real self right now. But that isn’t true either. She’s just very, very tired from many things: much moving, much caring, giving, taking care of, filling the other’s needs, and she’s put her own needs on the back burner. And so now out of desperation she’s trying to find a way to make herself feel better….

First of all she needs to just stop everything and see that she can breathe and be strong and radiant and laugh. Dearest one, I know she too is seeking and reaching and feeling the burden of finances, feeling that she cannot take the time for herself. But she can.

She can. There are many ways this can be done. She could do many different things. I know she feels all of this that she has already established, that if she should leave it she will be letting everyone down. Oh, it is an interesting cycle one gets into. But she could fulfill the needs for these things by taking a simple passion and turning it into something that could create money. Being so creative and interested in many things…. She’s a teacher. She’s a salesperson. She’s a wonderful being.

I want not to choose one thing for her. I want her to try on different things. She never has wanted to burden a single being in this life, in this path. She wants all beings to be filled with joy and is trying to keep everyone else happy, when in truth she’s forgotten totally about herself. She feels blessed in so many things and feels badly, but she’s not complaining, not to me.

Tell her: Blessed one take time for yourself right now, even if it means a leave of absence or whatever they call those things, some time away.

Her choice of work is very draining, a lot of emotional needs, ups and downs. And of course that financial gain is important but she’s blinded by all of it right now. Step away from it. She can do this. She’s not letting anyone down. In fact all beings around her will love her even more if she chooses to take this time for herself. Does that help you my dear?

I will pass that information on to her. I know it is difficult when we have rent to pay and groceries to buy and payments to make, to thing about stepping away from that treadmill.

Mhmn. But there are ways that it can be done. Shifts can be done. There are reasons for these burdens she created, to be needed. Being that that she has chosen as a career, she loved to see she was needed. She felt important. And it is true that she is very good at this. But now, she has grown. She’s feeling who she is a bit more, wants to step away. Take it.

Yes, we shouldn’t be locked in by those earlier ideas.

Allow others to grow too, to help to support her.

Yes, thank you.

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