Feeling lost and not knowing how to move forward

Elizabeth writes, “I think I’m lost, I feel very inadequate. I was doing well, enjoying my life, very happy. Then something happened and it all went downhill. Problem is that I don’t know what happened, its like I’m two people in one. I’m adamant that I don’t want to continue living unless I have a partner, while my other self finds the whole idea ridiculous. The other day while driving on the highway I wanted to crash so that I could die. I can’t handle the pain this is giving me. I can’t shake her off, its like another person is here with me… am I going a little crazy? or maybe I’m making it up because I’m not doing well as I hoped in my new job. Would you be able to point at my problem? maybe by looking at it I can fix it. I don’t want to bother my mother anymore either, I dislike bothering people.”

Dearest Elizabeth, perhaps you dislike bothering yourself.  You feel to blame for the relationship collapse.  It is not so and you are already starting to feel stronger.  Let us begin by saying it was good even though you feel very much angst about it.   This was not a growing relationship and you enjoyed the fact that it was not growing.  But you also knew that it was not a healthy thing.  You knew that there was a part of you being held in one place instead of moving forward.  And perhaps you were doing this a little of yourself.  Dearest one, the most constant thing of life in the physical domain is growth, choices.  That is what it is about.

You have much to live for.  You needed this time to take comfort with other beings.  Others love to help.  And your mother has always been a difficult one for you.  Fragile or strong you have never decided which it was.  Be who you are, dearest one.  It is not about growing up, it is about being.  Your life, your path, it has magic in it.  It is only because of your hurt at this time you do not see it, but you shall.  Just go forward at this time, one step at a time, blessing these feet, blessing this body that carries this amazing elixir of you and know that there is great purpose.

You don’t have to have all of the information right now.  Do not think of what was or could have been but see that amazing path you have created to grow, to experience, to be.  This is a time where there is great growth happening within you.  You will feel exhausted.  You will feel fed up.  It is not surprising.  But there is a deep passion within you that you must fulfill.

By | 2017-05-28T12:53:47+00:00 June 11th, 2010|Categories: Moving forward in difficult times|0 Comments

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  1. j.d. June 11, 2010 at 1:31 pm - Reply

    I know how this person feels. I am trapped by my past and want to move on, but have no idea how. My junior high advanced placement math teacher came into where I work the other day. She was great when I was in her classes, she even gave me my first job then even though I had just gotten off the streets. Anyways, her only comment was “you are still here?” and she looked so disappointed. I know I am a screw up and a failure but she just brought all that home to me. I know that my childhood was far from perfect and I am trying to deal with it, but I just can’t seem to move forward. So instead I numb with alcohol and razor blades. Old coping techniques for old pain.

  2. nana June 13, 2010 at 12:49 pm - Reply

    I have a grandson who is tall, handsome and smart. Unfortunately he has not had any breaks in life. He doesnt know who his father is, and his mother has not been very responsible. I brought him up from the age of 9 to 15 at which point he moved back in with his mother, but she had a drug dealer boyfriend, who taught him everything he knew. Now he is 21 and could be a movie star he is so gorgeous but instead he is dealing hard drugs. It is so dangerous, he has already been in the hospital with broken eye sockets, because he switched dealers. He is so brave, the next day he was on the phone demanding his stuff back, they stole his tv and laptop and money. He got it all back and more, but I am so scared for him. I am afraid for his soul, and of course his physical body. Will he learn and grow from this? I pray for him every day, that he will find some way out of the trap that his life has become. Please help him, I feel so inadequate.

  3. IS June 14, 2010 at 2:07 pm - Reply

    Hello,

    I am dealing with an anger issue throughout my life. It is not that I am constantly angry but it comes out from time to time. Unfortunately, I am still not able to control my anger outbursts. This is promlematic as I hurt people who are close to me and who I love. It also affects my current relationship with my boyfriend. I feel very guilty about it but still can`t control it. It also feels that part of this anger I carry around is not part of me but rather “external” anger that takes control over me. I am also wondering if this anger is the reason for me being such a serious person and having trouble to be truly happy. Please dear spiritual guides help me and give me some advise. I am very thankful for your insight.
    IS

  4. Mariola June 21, 2010 at 8:11 pm - Reply

    June 21, 2010 at 20:04 pm
    Hello,
    I lost my husband, due to terminal disease, six years ago. I miss him terribly and love him very much. Please, tell me if he has any messages for my sons and I. Thank you from a bottom of my heart.

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