Guidance for a mother who wants to find peace with her adult daughter
I am feeling so deeply hurt and invisible to my daughter who has sent me hate mail full of her angry feelings directed at me. What can be the agent of help for her and for me? Where can I place myself? How can I heal?
My beautiful one, it is not an easy thing for you to find a way in which to stand strong as you have always given your whole heart to all those you love, your tribe; the ones you want to protect from the elements, from any pain or harm. You have done so beautifully. Your children are strong and yes they have difficulties, but not because anything you have lacked or have not done. You have given them great support and you have taught them how to love themselves.
This being, your daughter, strikes at you because you are safe. The anger that she holds within herself is at herself, at her choices, at her decisions that she fears she cannot be altered. It is true that the words you have spoken have come from your heart and never in judgment. Because you saw completely and in truth and you used your words justly, your daughter recoiled and in fear, fear of her own weakness and inability to choose, struck at you because you spoke truth. The only thing you can do is extend your heart and love to this one. Choose not words of anger but love. In time, there will be an opportunity for this…in fact, it is already beginning.
Do not fear love, but embrace it. Love has two sides to it. It can be filled with torture, anger and pain, but its basis is love and has great growth within it. You know this child is growing and stretching and trying to be all very intellectual about it and has forgotten her heart completely. Her heart has made some choices that she is very angry about and thus her own struggle and striking out at you.
She strikes out at you because you are filled with light. You have heard before beings that are filled with light often get attacked by others that feel they are inadequate. It is similar as this, but not completely. She also knows that she can speak her voice in anger at you and that you will not change your view of her.
Yes, hurt you may be, but you still love this being completely and shall always stand in guard of her to protect her and to want for her safety and harmony. So, be that that you are with this one. Change not. Stand strong. You are her mother, life giver and you are a wonderful teacher.