Coping with toxic people


Vonna says she has again attracted the focus of a person that she would call somewhat “psycho”…someone who likes to secretly create suffering and loss in another’s life and watch the pain they have created as it happens, while the victim does not know exactly who caused it or why it happened.

She says, “This is the third time that I am aware of that I have attracted a “friend” like this into my life. I know such people are everywhere, and feel their own deprivation or loss entitles them to inflict hurt on others all their lives. I am not the only one with these intermittent experiences, but I am wondering why I have attracted this three times. And how best to deal with it when it happens? I have one sister who is deeply enmeshed in this behaviour and seems unable to change, she is not in my life any more. I had a roommate years ago who carried out amazing convolutions of cruelty on those around her secretly, and eventually she was exposed but only after years of successfully driving other people crazy. And now there is another in my life through a club I started up, and there seems no reason for her behavior. I have never been anything but kind to her as we mostly all are to each other. Is there something in my own choices and behavior I am avoiding looking at? Thank you so much.”

The guide responds:

There are many things at hand with this being. You live in a time of great chaos. She must understand, firstly, there are many beings who are truly new to the physical domain. They are learning, searching, seeking and trying on many different attitudes and understandings. It is where they be. It is how they need to be. It is best for her to see them for who they are. Tell her not to judge them, and not to expectations of them. Tell her to understand that only she can affect her own path by the choices she makes.

No one is a victim to anyone else unless one allows it to be. It is also for her to learn with great clarity which she asked for. To see with clarity, to understand what is right for her. To not judge others for what is right for them, but for what is right for her. Beings like the one she talks about can cause great chaos. It’s important to know that with these beings, by continuing Tell her that by continuing to love them and allow them to be still affects her. She must learn that there are ways to be without having them in a state of chaos around you.

Sometimes it means excluding them from you life out of your need to simply be. There is nothing wrong with this. It is not your need or responsibility to change each being. But it is your responsibility to live your life to the highest of your ability, to make the best choices for your path. And thus, you will teach the being who is chaotic, who is affecting others. Be the light, be strong, be the teacher but in a silent way—by showing it, by being it. Ancient beings often do not want to stand in the place of teacher.

The greatest lessons are learned by living the life of the highest, of the best. She must see to this. Understand that her path is what she creates it to be, affected by what she allows it to be affected by. There is nothing wrong with these beings. They be where they need to be. They seek to learn just as she does. Love them. They are where they need to be. Tell her to love them. It softens all edges.

By | 2017-05-28T12:54:12+00:00 January 3rd, 2009|Categories: Growth and choices|0 Comments

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  1. rgp January 3, 2009 at 6:25 pm - Reply

    I have been told many times that I should be writing or that I will write a book. Do you see this for me, or am I to be doing something else? I don’t seem to have any direction anymore. Just what is going on?

  2. Becky January 3, 2009 at 8:20 pm - Reply

    I have been thinking about sellingmy house for a few years and am notsure where I would move to if I didsell. I am wondering if it is bestto stay put, sell my house, live with my boyfriend of 3 yrs, move from the city that I live in or build on my property. This also opens up the question if this is the man to share my life with.

  3. Krista February 4, 2009 at 7:09 pm - Reply

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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