I would like information on N. We had a brief incredible meeting, eyes met, speechless, a past life confirmation from my Guides from this site. Being away from him for so many months, I literally felt a pain in my soul. Miraculously God brought us together. He did not even know my name but managed to find me online in all the clutter.
At first the communication was touching, but afterwards he became angry at little things, like when I changed my comments. It became a codependent unhealthy relationship. I grew more uncomfortable with it. Then he told me he had a girlfriend and said that I knew all along, questioning my morality and saying that I would pay for my transgressions. This really hurt me, since I initially asked if he had a girlfriend and he denied it.
As soon as I found this out, I cut off all communication with him. He wanted me back, when I refused and remained silent, again he resorted to being mean to me. I sense that he hates me and is mad. I hate to leave things off on a bad note, but I do not know what else to do.
I just feel so sad that such a beautiful, spiritual, magical union of two people is now ruined. I feel so many strange emotions around him. One minute I hate him for what he does, the next I forgive him, the next I feel like there is some kind of unfinished business here. I am so confused on why this person has come into my life, and why I can’t seem to let go. Furthermore, I am confused on what he wants from me since he has a girlfriend and is just continuously sending nasty comments to hurt me.
I feel like I am going through hell. I have lost weight, can’t sleep, any quiet moment the events replay in my mind, and the universe shows me things that remind me of him all the time. I want to be free, but then I don’t. I want to leave things off right. I need to know if I am being harsh by remaining silent and cutting off all communication. I just want to do the right thing. I want to know if I should just forget him and move on and the ultimate purpose of this strange meeting. I would also like insight on how he is feeling about the situation and why he continues to hold on and insult me.
The guide’s response:
Blessed one, forgive, have forgiveness for yourself, have willingness to forgive yourself. You feel very confused right now. You entered into a situation quickly and your expectations and your true desires were never spoken at that time. The words spoken at that time fit his needs, not yours. You followed through giving much of your being that you hold in the highest of value, but it was not his value.
And then when you spoke your truth and your needs and your light shone brightly, he feared this thus tried to dull your light, or attack you in order to make you go away to not make him feel so uncomfortable. He threw many things in your direction for you reminded him of something pure and true; something he could not be at this time.
He likes to believe himself that he is good and righteous being, but entered into this situation where, well, both of you, were not speaking your truth. And so what is created was an element of growth– for both to understand truly who you are.
You are not responsible for his growth, you are only responsible for yours. If you choose to have nothing more to do with this being, is right for you. You do not need to leave it on any note, you have already said who you are and what you need. To stay true to this is the utmost importance for you. This being is angry and does not want to see who he is. It is not your place to be or do. It is for you to follow your path, to seek your truth and to be when you are with others.
When you enter into a love make sure you honor all parts of you. Forgive yourself blessed one, in order to open your heart again. For this is what you are–a beautiful being.
You live in a time where communications are, well, the male and female issue of coming together to unite can be very confusing when there are electronic devices and the energies are different and conveying mixed messages. When beings enter into these things they are still using ancient ways of coming together in a new world that does not always communicate. The essence of your beings, your genetic code, your vibrational code are ancient and beyond the physical. They have the power to unite these, that are created with the creator. This is where a lot of friction occurs. Friction can cause confusion and can cause many different thoughts or feelings or actions to occur. It is as if you were supercharged in this way. It is as if you have an energy input in to you that exists, well, overpowering. Confusing, but not impossible.
Bless you, my child.