Judy asks first whether she can leave her current job. She feels she is finished with it but her youngest son wants to go to private school and she would need to continue working to pay for that. She wants to know if the school a good choice for him.
This dear one (Judy) needs to just separate from all for a bit. To truly think about what is important to her. What is her passion? Who she is, what she needs to do. She has been busy jumping from here to there trying to fill the needs of everyone else except her own. And so she now feels very frail and very vulnerable, and unsure about her choices and her actions. Because she is not solid in herself. She needs to take some time to think, to laugh, to be. It doesn’t mean she needs to go somewhere and be indulgent, but rather to be internal, to feel her inner voice. She is feeling very weary about many things and overwhelmed in some things. And it is time to truly listen to her own voice. For the choices that she has been making for a long time were made simply to stop a certain noise from happening. And now it’s time for that noise to be stopped–by her choosing. I mean the noise of expectations of others and not herself. She’s been living a life under another beings umbrella instead of her own.
Children are wonderful–great gifts. And you give them a great amount of love and nurturing and guidance—but they will be who they need to be. It matters not what school this one goes to. This one right now is very much into his own power and is very strong. And it will help him to be wherever he is, if she can be totally clear on who she is with him—a mother that he loves and adores. And she will support him in every way. But will not accept his putting the responsibility for all his actions on her. She needs to know that being a mother is the most important thing right now for her. To be strong, consistent and loving.
So just because her son wants to go to a different school doesn’t mean that she has to send him there?
It sounds as though she’s not sure what he needs.
He will find friendship and camaraderie wherever he goes. What he needs is to have a mother that is strong–and not just giving. She has abided by the needs of these children completely. And wanted only for them to be happy and seen and heard and accepted. She is wanting everything for these children that she didn’t have for herself. But that is not necessarily what these ones need. They do need a strength and a power, and a rootedness. They need her to be strong and still she needs to teach to find the strength within themselves.
And how does she do that?
By being it. She is being all over the place, instead of being still and being strong. She is looking outside to find things to fix, instead of being strong.