Moving through the wounds of childhood to forgiveness and love of one’s self
As I get older, I sometimes find myself feeling angry and envious of other women public figures who have successful careers, a family, and a healthy social life. I know my upbringing & experiences may have been different from theirs, but that only partially soothes the hurt and anger. What can I do about this?
If you feel anger towards another being, or that they be one of society’s chosen, or just another being that you see, it tells you that there is part of you that you don’t like and that is where you must address this, my blessed one.
You must go to the centre of your being. Look into your hands and see the lines on the palms, look into your face, your eyes and look deep into your heart. Where did you get the information that you weren’t just beautiful and perfect? For you did receive this information. Go to that time in your life through meditation, hypnosis, or just simply go for walks and simply think about your life.
Think about who you were at age five. Think about who you were at age thirteen. Travel through the past history of the knowledge that you have and ask this question: Why am I unhappy with me? When you find that spot, or place, stay in it. Feel it in the whole of your being. Dwell in that time. What did your world look like at that time? How did you feel about yourself? How did you feel about the loved ones at that time? Think about if you were the parent of you at that time, what would you say to you, how would you treat you?
There are times, blessed one, when you must be the parent to you. There are times when you must be the healer of you. And if you’ve had a time that has scarred your very vibration, as if you have a hard and tough scar on your soul, you look at it and soften with loving eyes of who you be. You forgive yourself for feeling this way about your being and you adopt love as your view of who you be.
It takes some time, dearest one. You won’t do it quickly and you won’t do it willingly. At first, you will fight the idea for you think it is you that has coloured your world. You adopt love as your view of how you be. For those beings have their struggles. You know not of them. They have their pains, their ups and their downs. Every being’s path has difficulty, my loved one. You mustn’t be angry at them for what they be and you mustn’t be angry at yourself.
Take some time and search your path. Look into all of those little corners and those times, even those times that you don’t remember much about. Sit with the age and try to imagine what those hands looked like then, what your face looked like and see who you be and why you feel certain ways. Then you have a choice. You cannot change what was said, or done, but you can change how you now perceive it. You can decide to love you, greater than any action, and heal you. And, when you do that, when you shift and love yourself, you will forgive all manner of that action that has taken place and you will love yourself enough to forgive all around you.
Your world will change, your perception of others and you will have given yourself the greatest gift, freedom; freedom from holding yourself back in a place where you no longer fit. You are greater than that, an amazing being, with a heart that is wanting and willing to grow.
Bless you my child.