I have a question from Jennifer about her son who is in his mid-twenties and still feels loss and sadness as the result of the divorce between his parents about ten years ago. He is having difficulty finding his work in the world and financial independence. She says, “I hold my son tenderly in my heart and sometimes I worry that he may be stuck. Is there anything more I can do to support him in finding his path? He is a brilliant light.”
Dearest one, it is not your son that is stuck but you. You hold guilt in your heart for an action you took for survival of your being. It is true there are parts of your young son that feels he has missed, but in truth he is a strong, radiant being. And you need to trust in him. With all the love that you have for him he has grown beautifully. Speak to him that he is a wise, evolved being, that he will find what he needs to do in his time. There is no rush. And in truth he is already thinking clearly what he needs to do. For yourself, dear Jennifer, love your being. You are also a very strong, beautiful being. Hold yourself not in that that was, but in that that is. You have clarity now. It is in the “now” moment that you heal that that was, for yourself— not just your son.
You are not responsible for your son’s life and path and growth. Yes, for a certain time as the caretaker, so that the body be nourished and loved. And as they grow and step to the edge of the nest and spread their wings, to trust that the wind will hold them. And it will. Be strong my beautiful mother. You have done well by this beautiful being.